This Tentacle Lantern Wall Plaque with LED Light is awesome. It’s like Cthulhu just punched a tentacle through your wall to give you a little light. Thanks a lot Cthulhu, but unless you plan on staying there and holding that light for the rest of your life, I’m gonna need that wall fixed. Damn. Stop trying to be so overly helpful. It causes problems. Great. Now I hurt his feelings. It’s gonna be okay big guy. Stop crying. My walls are getting all wet.
Tag: tentacle
Tentacle Winestoppers
You can either buy these awesome Tentacle Winestoppers or do like I do and keep a caged octopus on your kitchen counter. I just set my wine down and bonk him on the head, until he sticks a tentacle in my bottle. That’s probably why my wine tastes like Calamari. You want some water? Huh? You better cooperate! My Coke was tasting pretty flat last I checked too. Arghhhh! Stop strangling me!
Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?
I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.
Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
Read more “Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles”
Tentacle Headband
Tentacle Headband sounds like some kind of octopus themed heavy metal head banging group, but it’s not. It’s a cool new piece of head gear that brings you one suckered tentacle closer to Cthulhu. It’s made from wiggly rubber that gives it an authentic and likely gross feel. Which is what you want from a tentacle.
So it will feel like Cthulhu actually has his tentacle on your head. Not in a pervy way. Get your head out of the gutter. Like he’s saying, “You look FABULOUS. So proud of you. Gonna make you look awesome today. Why do you think I’ve waited for like millions of years ya silly goose. The ancient evil of style has awakened more fab than ever.” *Tentacles mimic hand snaps all around* “Let’s do that foundation girl. How’s the love life. uh-huh. Uh-huh!”
Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals
Hey, what’s Kraken? These Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals, that’s what? It wants to give you a big hug, then pull you down to drown in the murky depths. Kind of like my Aunt Louise always did, except she’ll pinch your cheeks first, then pull you in for a hug so you can suffocate in her massive bosoms. That might not have been so bad, but Aunt Louise used to be Aunt Louie. I had an awkward childhood.
At family get-togethers my dad would hold him/her back at the door, then yell, “Unleash the Kraken!” and all the kids would run. I was always too slow.
Read more “Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals”