Tag: undead

Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet

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Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet
This Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet aka Necronomicuff is pretty sweet. It’s based on the works of H.P. LovesCuffs who also wrote The Cuffs of Cthulhu. It’s pretty cool. Definitely the in fashion statement of the year. It’s perfect to wear to this years Necronomi-con too. I just made that up, so if it ever exists, someone’s gonna owe me money. You read it here first.

I would buy two of these cuffs and wear one on each wrist, so I can deflect bullets with them like Wonder Woman. Pew pew pew! I’m magic! Ow! My wrists! *Falls to knees crying.*

Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue

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Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue
So this Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue shows what Death is up to on his day off. He’s just chillin’ on his bone throne, with his skeleton pet by his side. Wait just a damn minute…

Is this what happens? He comes in the dead of night to take us away so he can have a new pet? Dude, that’s f***ed up! How many pets do you go through in a year anyway? WTF! They obviously don’t have a good track record. No wonder you have to keep collecting souls.

Great, so we all have that to look forward to! Being the Grim Reaper’s b**ch!

Zombie in a Bottle

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Zombie in a Bottle
Zombie in a Bottle. Sounds like an awesome drink. I’ll buy a whole case. Actually, this is a real zombie figure in a bottle. Carry your zombie friend in your pocket, use him as a necklace, or just set him on your desk and admire his trapped and tormented zombie soul. I’m thinking I can pop the top, give it a rub and make a wish. I would wish for food. Then when nothing happens, I would go to bed, only to wake up later as this zombie is feasting on my flesh like the small flesh-eater it is.

What’s up with that?

You wished for food. nom nom nom.

Yeah, so?

Well, the food is you. nom nom nom.

Back in your glass prison you psycho little-
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Zombie Graveyard Mobile Phone Holder

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Zombie Graveyard Mobile Phone Holder
This Zombie Graveyard Mobile Phone Holder will give you a cool place to rest your phone. Or, as it shows here, a ten year old iPod that you are still using for some reason. Your phone will look like it sits abandoned in a creepy graveyard, with this guy lurking right behind it. This guy is like some undead Price is Right model, proudly displaying your phone and grunting. He’s got one job to do and he does it well. That job is to hold your phone and look scary. Good job zombie. This will work great for me cuz the only time I even use my phone is to order pizza. It spends the rest of it’s life getting lost.
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Zombie Matryoshka Dolls

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Zombie Matryoshka Dolls
Check out these Zombie Matryoshka Dolls. And you thought your family was weird. This family is rotten. Rotten to the core. The core, it turns out, is a little pink brain at the center of all these Zombies. These guys will look great on your desk. Assuming you want to scare others away and work in peace.

Maybe they aren’t zombies at all. Maybe they just have a bad case of family acne. Family acne is what we call the ugly gene. Damn, you all need some Clearasil. How about gettin’ proactive up in your hizz-zouse! Maybe shower in some tough actin’ tinactin. I don’t know what you all have, but there’s definitely a fungus among us.
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