Sexy Zombie Hula Girl Bobble Figurine

Zombie Hula Girl Bobble Figurine
There’s nothing like being mesmerized by a Hula Girl on your dashboard. Unless it’s this Zombie Hula Girl Bobble Figurine. Umm, yeah the ones I remember were more sexy. Less scabby. No open wounds. Still, I wouldn’t kick her off my dashboard for eating crackers. Let’s see you hula baby. Dance and shake your money maker. Oh sh*t. Did I just crash? Why is everything so blurry and peaceful? White light? Go toward what white light? Ohhhhhh there it is.

Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume

Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume
I can see this Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume doing a number on the pole at some redneck bar after the town has been infected with a virus. And I have to say she has all the right moves. Nice veins. Really gets that heart pumping. Her heart, not mine. I don’t have a thing for zombie strippers. Then why’d you throw all those ones at her and request a lap dance? A. That was Monopoly money and B. They keep it really cold in here cuz the customers and the staff are all dead. Just trying to warm my lap with a cold zombie. Makes perfect sense.

Need A Hand? – Zombie Hand Napkin Holder

Zombie Hand Napkin Holder
This Zombie Hand Napkin Holder is all like, “Here have a napkin as I just bust through your table with my grimy hand.” And I’m all like, “I don’t mind if I do.” *grabs napkin and dabs my lips.* If you need a hand at the dinner table, this thing will turn any meal into a fright fest. It is a nasty hand with nasty nails and skin and it serves napkins. What more do you want?
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Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains

Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains
So basically Praying Mantises have been biding their time and now that the end is nigh, they are going full zombie and eating the brains of birds all over the world. Seems legit. They no doubt plan on eating bird brains until they absorb all of their flying powers and then we will have a new species that can poop on our heads. Great.

More like Preying Mantises. Am I right? Look at that pic. Dude is just munching on that bird brain as it hangs there. That would be like me hanging out a second story window with my teeth gripping a cow by the head, instead of just having a burger. It’s just showboating, which is why Mantises and me will never get along. Showoff zombie vermin!
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Crazy Gross Zombie Skull Leather Backpack

Zombie Skull Leather Backpack
Familyskiners have done it again. I have no idea how many family members they’ve skinned but whatevs. Look at this crazy Zombie Skull Leather Backpack they created. Kinda looks like a bulldog zombie if ya ask me. You know what they say, when life throws zombies at you you don’t make lemonade, you make a zombie backpack out of their head.