*Looks at the skeleton* Damn son! What did you do to get all drawn and quartered on that wrist? No bones about it, you in trouble. Bent all backwards and looking like you’re screaming and going for a terrifying ride. Ladies, this is one hell of an accessory. Tells everyone you mean business. This Skeleton Bones Bracelet is a bone-a-fide hit. I would say it’s hip, but it’s more hip bone. I made a funny. Cuz I hit my funny bone.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Warm Your Bones – Day of The Dead Skull Scarf
Just because it is the Day of the Dead, that doesn’t mean that you have to be chilled like a corpse. Warm your neck with this cool Day of The Dead Scarf. Dia de los Muertos bitches! You stylin’ in your skull scarf girl. Skulls and roses. That’s the only way to roll. You gonna look so sexy girl! Dia de los fashion! *finger snaps everywhere* I promise not to do that again. I’m really a manly man. *Screams* I’m late for my chorus rehearsal.
Bloody Kidney Soap
Lather up and bath in the blood of a kidney. Get nice and clean, yet feel dirty, like some surgeon working out of a back alley, who takes his bloody work home and washes his naughty bits with it. It’s Bloody Kidney Soap. Yay? Looks authentic.I wonder if it smells authentic. Probably not since you don’t want a soap that tastes like urine.
Baby Skull Tower Lamp
Hey look, a tower of baby skulls. That is also a lamp. Yes, this Baby Skull Tower Lamp is a tower of terror. Great to read by. As long as it’s a horror novel. And until all of these heads start talking to you. Like, “Hey whatcha reading?” or “Hang on I wasn’t done with that page yet!” It is the only acceptable way to have a tower of baby heads. If you’re into that sort of thing.
Alien Salt Pepper Shaker Set
Season your meals with flavor that is out of this world with this Alien Salt Pepper Shaker Set. *Opens my eyes as I wake up in bed* Hmmmm. So you came for my salt and pepper did ya? Traveled light years just for that? Well, I could have told you you weren’t going to find that in my anus. Sheesh! Hey, where ya going? I didn’t say I wasn’t game for some probing still. *Lays on my stomach and shakes my heiney* Get back here! Oh I see how it is. You got what you want and now you’re done with me. Whatevs! Have fun with the high blood pressure from all that salt.