Author: Artemis Winterford

Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets

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Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets
If you like classic B movies, check out these Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets from BvdBDesign. They have all of the classics. Just stick them on your fridge and you will be reminded about how awesome they are. Awesomely under budget! If we give good movies an Oscar, we need to give these an Oscar Mayer. That’s a trophy of a hot dog in case you didn’t get it. Nah. I kid. These movies are all awesome.

I only give the Oscar Mayer award to street hot dog vendors that I feel have excelled at their craft and created a masterpiece. No, seriously! I have a whole case of the things. Bought em wholesale. By now every hot dog vendor in the city has one. Everyone’s a wiener!
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Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

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Custom Zombie Cat Figurines
Wanna turn your fluffy Miss Mittens into a crazy deadly zombie? Well, now you can. These Custom Zombie Cat Figurines will take your fluffy little fuzz-nugget and turn them into rotting undead pus-nuggets. They will make your cat look like he or she just crawled out of the grave and are ready to eat you. Yeah, they don’t look friendly at all. Like they just came back from Stephen King’s pet sematary. Yeah, count me out of that petting session.

Sure, you’re happy to see Mr. Nibbles-worth again. How’ve ya been? I’m so happy you’re back. I missed my sweet wittle puss-puss. So you grab for a can of tuna, but he grabs for your throat. You’re dying on the floor, he’s nipping at your intestines. It’s bad. Bad scene man. That’s why when I bury a pet, I fill that hole up with concrete. If I ever see a block of concrete with a tail slowly lumbering my way, I have time to get the shotgun.
Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

Horror Villains As Presidential Candidates

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Horror Villains As Presidential Candidates
Trump, Sanders, Clinton… As usual, no matter who you vote for, we’re all screwed. Because they are all psychopaths. So why not elect someone who openly admits it? Like these candidates! I’m voting Chucky in 2016. He will slash taxes and also anyone who doesn’t vote for him. I think he should run with Freddy as his pick for Vice President. They will serve infinite terms because who is gonna kick them out?

Hell I’ll vote for any of these guys over the real so called candidates.
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Count Chunkula Mask

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Count Chunkula Mask
This Count Chunkula Mask shows you what happens when you eat wayyyy too much Count Chocula Cereal. Which I could have already told you by looking in the mirror. I had a box a day habit and went through all of the stages: Count Pudge-ula, Count Huskie-ula and finally I hit Count Chunkula.

I crave blood, but keep eating cereal. Also I can turn into a bat. A fat non-flying bat who gets out of breath lifting his wings. It was all worth it though. Have you tasted those cereals? They’re like crack. I should have gone with Boo-Berry!
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Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances

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Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances
I had a Ouija Board Pillow like this once, but I had to get rid of it. I would wake up in the morning to find a medium and a bunch of other people standing around my bed. I say medium, really she was more like a large, maybe XL. They were getting messages from the pillow based on how me, a human planchette, tossed and turned and which letters I drooled on.

Come to think of it, that wasn’t a medium and a bunch of people. I think those were all ghosts that my drooling tossing and turning conjured up.