You know him, you love him. He goes by the name Jeebus, Jesus, Son of God, the almighty, the Nemesis from Nazareth and many more. He has turned water into wine, busted up gambling establishments, got sold out for 30 pieces of silver, died for your sins, then scanned his own image on his blankey when woke and moved a great big rock, saying tada I’m resurrected. Aren’t I fabulous? How much has changed while I slept? I see sandals are still in fashion. Judas, you scamp. I’m going to have a stern word for you. I am going to pinch you so hard!
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Author: Artemis Winterford
General Custer’s Head In A Box
General George Armstrong Custer. Or as I like to call him, Ol’ Indian Pin-Cushion Custer. Or Ol’ Porcupine Custer. Back in those days when you saw a white man, you either called him a honky mofo and filled him full of arrows or you lost your land and ended up the last of your line to never be in the casino business. Well, here’s his head. In a box.
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My Cat Wants This: Crazy Insane Giant Rubber Band Ball
I just caught my cat pawing at my keyboard and shopping on Ebay. You’d think that I would learn to lock my computer after the $2,000 Fancy Feast incident of 2009, but nope. Now she’s eyeing this huge ass ball of rubber bands for $2,999.00, so she can bat it around the house and set up a trap to make me run like Indiana Jones outrunning the giant boulder.
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This Handbag Takes Things Literally, Is also Handmade
It’s a handbag. It’s handmade. It’s also very handy. No wonder it is full of hands. Brightly colored hands with paint on them. As if this handbag had rolled over a hundred children who were finger-painting pretty flowers and consumed them for all eternity in this bag.
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Attack Of The Killer Jar Heads
Etsy seller MindsEyeCreation makes all kinds of scary and creepy stuff. This evil hell spawn which looks like an amalgamation of all of my ex-wives is called a jar head. Not because he’s a marine, but because he actually has a jar head.
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