Antique Grandfather Clock With Actual Grandfather Inside

grandfather clockYou know how it is when you’re living with your grandfather. Old folks start forgetting everything you say the minute you say it. Every time they make toast the smoke detector goes off. Matlock is on the TV 24/7, only broken up by the occasional Golden Girls marathon. Then when you take them out of the house, it’s all, here let me get that sonny, and they pay with every penny they have ever collected, out of a coin purse that must be bigger on the inside like a TARDIS. Well, it might be time to get some nursing help, or put him in a home. Or you could just shove the old coffin dodger in a grandfather clock. That’s why they named it that, right? Must be. Seems legit.
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Crazy Scary Peeping Clown Plays a Deadly Game Of Peek-A-Boo

creepyclown
Just think of all the fun you could have with this scary window peeping clown! You could go around creeping out random neighbors, or maybe an in-law you don’t like. Just set this creeper up outside of their window, in the middle of the night preferably. Make sure to make some noise, like a scraping sound across the window…or maybe make some garbled maniacal crazy clown laughing noises. Don’t go for the cheap fake scare like in the movies. Then sit back and wait for the show to begin. All of the lights will switch on in the house. Then they will see the crazed clown staring at them and freak out. Hopefully not clutching their chest because you have given them a heart attack. Next, they will go running for the phone to dial 911 and get laughed at when they say,”There’s a killer clown on the loose in my neighborhood! Help!”
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Tin Foil Hat Protects Your Dog From Passive Mind Control

doggy tin foil hatYou may not be worried about the government controlling your mind, but dogs know better. Ask any dog and they will tell you that there are humans out there trying to brainwash them and turn them into doggy Manchurian candidates. Just who do you think makes Fido lick his balls so often? The CIA that’s who. And also the cubans who killed Kennedy, who are really aliens from outer space.
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Creepy/Cool: Needle Felted Cthulhu

felt cthulhuExperience the softer side of Cthulhu with this creepy, yet somehow adorable needle felted version. He will still drive you insane, just to look upon him, but part of what is killing your mind will be cuteness.
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Creepy Cyborg Barbie With Arm Whipping Action

Cyborg BarbieBarbie is a role model for anorexic girls everywhere. The doll has probably done young girls more harm than a million Miley Cyrus’ twerking ever could. That’s why it would be awesome if the Borg assimilated her. Resistance is futile b*tch. Go ahead and run into your Malibu beach house. They will find you and you will become part of the collective.
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