Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty together again. Maybe that’s because all of the kings horses and all the kings men were a bunch of egg beaters that get off on hurting and bullying beings of the incredible-edible variety until they look like the cracked, withered and beaten mess you see here.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
This Magic Red Beard Met Gene Simmons From KISS
This Ebay seller met Gene Simmons and had the typical screaming fan girl pics taken with him since he was man-crushing uber hard. This guy is giving the thumbs up in the pic and he is all like, “Check it out, I just met Gene Simmons”, while Gene Simmons is all like “I just had my dinner interrupted AGAIN by another weird stalker.” *points* What we are creeped out about is that this dude thought it would rock, to snip off and sell his straggly goatee that he was wearing on the night he met Mr. Simmons. Oh and because he says his goatee has magical powers.
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Clamcake Looks Like Satan, Is Probably Fiery Hot
Behold the Satan Clamcake! The master of the underworld has taken a new form on Earth and is just waiting for you to consume him. As soon as you go all nom nom nom and start eating this thing, you will feel a fiery burning as hell’s fury boils within you. Before you know it, you are Satan’s new vessel here on Earth.
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Elvis’ Internal Organs Have Left The Building
I thought there were only two versions of Elvis. Fat Elvis and Thin Elvis. Here is a third. This painting shows Elvis with his insides showing. Hey, I think I see some half digested peanut butter and banana sandwiches. And a butt-load of pills. No wonder he sang Love Me Tender. He didn’t want people jabbing him in his internal organs while he made sweet love. Be gentle with Elvis baby. You dig?
Thanks for the tip William. Your a hunk a hunk of burning love. And you should really get that checked by a doctor.
Collecting Dust: $1,500 Worth
Just when we thought we’ve seen it all, we find that someone came up with the bizarre idea to collect a jar of disgusting filth and put it up on Ebay. Basically they just vacuumed their home and emptied the canister into a jar. They have probably been proudly displaying it on their shelf, next to a jar of old scabs and one with toenail clippings.
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