I knew it. I knew that all gnomes are They Live Garden Gnomes. I didn’t even need any special glasses. Gnomes run the world, forcing us to consume, obey and put them in our gardens so they can spy on us. Little ceramic bastards. I’d put this guy in my yard though. Come on, you’re coming with me gnome-slice. Yeah, yeah, money is my God. Just get in the garden.
Author: Artemis Winterford
This Really Bugs Me – Nasty Fly Earrings
Flies are all the rage this year. Everyone on the runway is wearing them. So these Fly Earrings are the perfect accessory. Fly. The maggot evolved. Nature’s gross butterfly. Flies are filthy and disgusting and totally belong on your ears. I can’t wait for some fly to land on your ear and try to mate with your earrings. That’s nasty.
Weird Eye Martini Glasses – Martine-Eye
Check out these Weird Eye Martini Glasses. Martine-eye anyone? When I drink I am the master and my drink is the pupil. That may sound cornea, but eye don’t care. I’m gonna get a pair of these. I’ll call one Iris and the other Re-Tina. If you drip some drink over the side and lick it off, you’ll get a real tongue-lashing. Know what I mean? Weird, but I like these.
Clay Fly Face Wall Hanger For Your House – It’s A Housefly
When you absolutely need the head of a giant fly on your wall, there is the Clay Fly Face Wall Hanger. It would be in your house so technically it’s a housefly. I guess. Put it on your horse and it’s a horsefly. Is it May? Then it’s a Mayfly. If it falls off your wall it means your fly is down. Whatevs. Time for me to fly.
Is This The Face of Bigfoot?
This video comes from a trapper in Canada. The dude says that he filmed the legendary Bigfoot’s face! He stumbled upon a disused campsite and took out his camera. Then he sees something hairy and within that hair… Bigfoot’s face. Just looks like a monkey in a wig to me. Which is still pretty impressive. The monkey would have gotten bonus points had he also applied lipstick and eyeliner.
Is it Bigfoot? Could be. Dude wasn’t hanging around to find out. He did what anyone would have done when spotting a monkey in a wig. He ran like hell. Skip to the 1:00 mark for the slow mo shot.
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