Category: Creep Wear

Gold Ouija Board Leggings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gold Ouija Board Leggings
I wanna slide my planchette all over these Gold Ouija Board Leggings and that’s not just me talkin’ dirty. So go ahead and Ouija yourself! I just wee-jad a little myself. Weak bladder. Really, it’s like a dripping faucet bought from the thrift store at this point. When I was young, that shizz was like I bought it at Home Depot. TMI.

Baby I would love to give you a sweet leg massage while communicating with the other side, so seriously, roll over, let me see what I’m working with here. What? No you look awesome honey. I don’t see any Ouija-toe or nothing.

Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant
Wear this Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant around your neck and summon some monsters and stuff. I tried that once, but the only thing I summoned was a big wet fart. Pro tip: Never mess around with this book. I thought it was a Necro-NOM-icon, as in om nom nom nom this cake is so good. Turns out it was not a cookbook. My mistake. I just wanted to summon a giant Oreo with stuffing the size of a backyard pool. I got that alright! I also got a giant tentacled monster from hell who was eating it.

Psycho Kitty Purse / Dice Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Psycho Kitty Purse Dice Bag
That’s a bad Psycho Kitty Purse / Dice Bag. Bad kitty! No! This terror kitten is a purse or a dice bag. Your call. Just don’t complain to me when it rips your face off. Those eyes! They claw at my soul and lap it up like milk. Psycho Kitty! Qu’est-ce que c’est. Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa. Better, run run run run away.

He’s a psycho night-meow! Whatever you do, don’t introduce him to your kitty, unless you want a kitty shaped hole in your wall from where he ran the hell away.
Read more “Psycho Kitty Purse / Dice Bag”

These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump's Combover
Few things in this life are as powerful and hefty as Donald Trump’s combover. Whether you are a Trump supporter or detractor, you can now own a pair of shoes that are seemingly inspired by The Donald’s hair. Gucci’s new Princetown Goat-Hair Mules are just… WTF. I don’t even know what to say about them. They cost $1,800, but if you are the kind of person wearing these, your therapist will cost a lot more. How did I know you had a therapist? Well, if you like these shoes, you need one. That’s for sure. It looks like you stepped on a pair of tribbles.
Read more “These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover”

Marilyn Manson Inspired Lipstick Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Marilyn Manson Inspired Lipstick Set
At last you can have the lips of Marilyn Manson without having to rip them off him and paste them onto your own. You know that’s wrong don’t you? Glad we had this talk. Don’t do that!

These are some scary-ass goth lips right here. Chomping down of the actual lipstick with your teeth is apparently required if you wanna rock these colors. I don’t like that “Hollywood” color. Makes it look like you’ve been kissing somebody’s butt and guess what? They didn’t wipe. Well they did, it was just on your lips. Probably that color because everyone kisses ass in Hollywood. I would choose Mansinthe because I personally like my lips to look like an irradiated lime. But that’s just me.