Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet
This Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet is so cool that it not only calls Cthulhu, it calls Cthulhu and sets up and date, then bangs Cthulhu and leaves in the morning, tucking some cab fair under his tentacles. So yeah, it’s a pretty cool wallet that isn’t messing around. The front features an awesome illustration, while the back side features a famous quote from the story: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. This wallet makes an awesome gift.

I’ll expect it gift wrapped though. And throw me a surprise party and invite all of my friends. Aw, you shouldn’t have. *whispers* Yes you should have. Where’s the ice cream and party hats?

Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace

Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace
This is the kind of bling I’m looking for. A Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace. I bet it even has a little diamond poop inside too. I always wanted a gold toilet, so I could show it to all the peeps on MTV cribs when they come to check out my sweet Hollywood mansion. Obviously that never happened, but at least I can wear this cool gold commode and pretend.

Toilet bling. That’s what I’m talking about. Now do I put the picture of a loved one inside the lid or someone I hate?

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring
This ring is coming up snake eyes! This Adjustable Snake Eye Ring puts a pair of snake eyes on your finger. Along with it’s icky yucky snake skin. I love this ring. Whenever anyone displeases me I’m gonna raise my ring and shout, “The eyes of the snake are upon you. Back off lest ye be judged by the serpent god!” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool as hell and scary. And when they look into those snake eyes, they will feel the wrath of the serpent.

Speaking of which, I’m feeling the wrath of the serpent right now. Me go pee pee. Bye bye.

Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad

Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad
These creepy Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad from iRebell will protect your tablet while creeping other people the hell out. That’s always a good thing. Bats are cool. Screw people who don’t get that. Bats are awesome. Sometimes I hang upside down just to be all cool like them. Then I fall on my head and forget what I was doing. The problem is I don’t have sonar. I can get a bonar just fine, ask the ladies, but no sonar. And I will wrap my wings around you and nibble on your neck just like a bat though. I’m very bat-like is what I’m trying to say. If bats were huge in the middle and were barely able to fly and munching on cheese balls all day.
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Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie

Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie
Ever feel like you want to cover yourself in horror movie maniacs? This Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie makes it possible. It features a collage of your favorite classic horror movie killers, like Michael Myers, Leatherface, Hellraiser, Hannibal Lecter, It the Clown and many more!

This is basically the scariest hoodie ever. It could only be scarier if it was made from the skin of all of these freaks. Damn, I’m dark. Did I just say that. No. That was the hoodie talking. I think it is possessing me. I have a strong urge to wear a hockey mask with a bladed glove.