Category: Creep Wear

Skeleton Hand Ring

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skeleton hand ring
Chicks be like “When ya gonna commit and make an honest woman out of me?” and I’m all like, “If you want a ring, I’ll dial your number.” Then I just walk away. Nah. I wish I was cool like that. No girl girl is asking me to put a ring around her finger. But if they did, I would give them this cool Skeleton Hand Ring, cuz it probably feels all creepy, like you have a baby constantly clutching your finger. A tiny bony baby, with skulls for knuckles.

Boom! There’s my next business idea. Skeleton Brass knuckles for babies. I’ll call my line of accessories Badass Baby. No, make that Bad(Powdered-Ass) Baby. Cuz their butts are always powdered.

Skull Leggings

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

skull leggings
Holy Coca-Skulla those are some nice legs. Not bony at all, which is surprising when you consider those fine Skull leggings. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Are you hot blooded, check it and see. Do you got a femur of a hundred and three? See what I did there? That was a little classic rock humor.

Foreigner right?

No, I was born here. zing! Anyway, I’m gonna make like the blogging DJ I am and leave ya with a classic from The Kinks.

I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and your leggings are full of skull-las
S-K-U-L-L Skull-las.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said, “Skull-la”
S-K-U-L-L Skull-la, ska ska ska ska Skull-la….

Pants + Skirt = Skants?

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Pants Skirt Skants
It’s pants, it’s a skirt. It’s a pant-skirt. Skants. It’s for pale cave-people who need more sunlight. Apparently. They call it a transformer, but I’ve never seen Optimus Prime wearing this thing. Can’t decide between pants or a skirt? Just wear this. They look like some kind of weird prison pants. Prisoner number Skants step forward. I mean shuffle. Shuffle forward. Hands where I can see ’em.

Gollum loves them: Ssskants are my precious. Sometimes me wants a ssskirt, sometimes me wants pantsss. Me wants ssshuffle underground. Ssskanks is mine. I means ssskants! No sssunlight! *Hissssss* *Crawls off into the darkness.*

Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet

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Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet
Keep your bony hands off my hat! Oh yeah. Sorry. Those are supposed to be there. I’ve heard of having a bee in your bonnet, but I’ve never heard of having bones in your bonnet. Until now. This Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet is hands on. Heh. Hands on. I’m such a card! It is hands down(On your head) the winner of my annual bony-bonnet contest.

I like it. Scary, yet classy. It’s all Little House on the Haunted Prairie. Now that is a television reboot that I’d like to see. Let those pioneer folk see how they do against zombies and ghosts and stuff.

My Dead Little Pony Necklace

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My Dead Little Pony Necklace
This My Dead Little Pony Necklace proves that friendship is tragic, not magic. A good Pony name for this one is Rainbow Slash, Pinkie Die, or Flutter-Die. This pony looks like it got struck by lightning. Now it is My Little Skeleton.

I knew this would happen. Pony up that money you bet me. You know who you are. Don’t make me shout about it until I’m horse. I’ll spare you more horse jokes and pony bologna.