Category: Creep Wear

Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume

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Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume
Check it out guys and gals. I just found the most offensive Halloween costume of the year. The Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume has everything you need to re-enact recent current events: A bloody dentist shirt and a severed lions head. Too soon? My bad.

Seriously though, this guy should rot in hell.

Pro tip: It’s okay to get super upset about a lion being killed, but you should also be upset about homeless people dying and going hungry on the very streets you walk on. You should also get upset about your government lying to you on a daily basis.

Let’s get riled up about this stuff too.

Your pal,
The weird Creepbay dude.

The Zipper Choker Necklace

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zipper choker necklace
Gonna buy this Zipper Choker Necklace for my wife. She’ll get all choked up about it. Or maybe choke me. You never can tell. Everytime she wears it I’m gonna be all like, “XYZ. Examine your zipper.” I might even call her zippy. Depends if she’s in a punching mood or not.

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
Zip-A-Dee-A
My oh my, what a wonderful day.

Guillotine Necklace: Heads Will Roll

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Guillotine Necklace Heads Will Roll
Heads will roll, I mean turn, when you wear this awesome Guillotine Necklace. You should totally get a little action figure and put it’s head in this. Something innocent like E.T. or C-3PO. I hate both those guys. Is it Gee-O-Tine or Gill-O-Tine? I can never get that right. Gill-O-Tine sounds like a protein drink for fish. Pretty sure that ain’t right. Whatevs.

It’s a sharp and primitive instrument of death. For your neck.

Facehugger Mask

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Facehugger Mask
This guy is getting hugs all day long from this Facehugger Mask. He still looks surprised about it. This creepy critter wants to hug your face next. Will you let him? Or her? I have no idea about it’s gender. When it comes to a face hugger’s sex, I don’t ask, don’t tell. Just don’t want none.

I ain’t that desperate. Okay, I am, but I’m trying really hard not to be tempted by that sexy hugger of faces. You minx. Okay fine, you sexy seductress, hit my face all hard and squishy and start huggin’. Oh yeah. Just like that.
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Fruit Bat Necklace

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Fruit Bat Necklace
Wear this fruit bat necklace and let the cute little guy have a go at your own low hanging fruit. Hey, nothing wrong with low hanging fruit. It’s the easiest to pluck. You should see my man-mammaries. My fruit hangs so low to my gut, I got a fruit basket. It’s the gift I give myself.

Yes yes. I’m sure you are all firm and tight. *rolls eyes* Anyway, let this fruit bat sleep above your breasts. No, not me. Though I wouldn’t mind. I would be a good little fruit bat, I promise. I’m talking ’bout fruit bat!
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