Make your pet look like the badass he/she is with Pet Hoodies. Besides, small pets can have a hard time keeping warm in the winter months. Make them look warm and tough, so that every time they stare at you wanting food, you feel like you are about to get mugged. It’s cool. I don’t want any trouble. Wet food coming right up.
And make sure you give your pet a cool gangster name to go with their new hoodie. Better yet, give them a rapper name. Like Dr. Spay or 2pac Shapurr.
Pew! Pew! Pew! My Tank slippers sank your battleship. That’s what you get for wearing battleship slippers on desert themed carpeting. The tanks are gonna win every time. Let me throw you a lifeline and I’ll tow you to safety. Get it? Tow you? Toe you?
You’re welcome! Oh I thought you said tanks for the joke. My mistake. I’ll tread more carefully. Are you even getting all of these awesome tank jokes? Whatevs. I’m gonna go make some Rommel Ramen noodles and chill.
Make a fashion statement wherever you go with this stylish and somewhat off-white Tighty Whitey Bag. Don’t leave it unattended though. You may come back to find a man standing inside of it. Bonus: The interior lining is all blue flames like when you light your farts.
I would hate to be the thief that tries to steal this thing. First off, as you are struggling with your victim, you notice that this purse is actually a pair of dirty undies, but what’s worse is when she starts hitting you in the face with it and your nose tells you that it was probably worn at one time. For like 2 months straight. And never washed.
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Meet George Jetson,
His Boy Elroy,
Daughter Judy,
Jane, His wife.
Hold up a damn minute! Judy has grown up! Damn girl, I got a rocket in my pocket and you got a ticket to ride. Can you tilt that satellite dish a little to the left? I’m trying to tune the big game in. You so crazy. You were poking out eyes with those pointy boobs that hypnotize long before Madonna. So how have you been? I see from the image below that Mr. Spacely gave you a job holding up pillars. So where have you been? Oh, I see. Judging by those passport tattoos stamped all over, you get around girl. Catch ya on the flip side.
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Hey, is that the baby from teletubbies? I have no idea. Babies all look alike to me. Which is probably why we have taken to wrapping our babies in faux-food items like this Burrito Baby Blanket. Don’t blame me if I’m next to you at Taco Bell and you order yourself a Gordita, while leaving your big burrito unattended. If I see a giant burrito, I’m eating it!
Not even gonna pay attention to the crying, because it wouldn’t be the first time that my food has cried and whimpered as I bite down into it. You are just asking for trouble with this delicious looking blanket. Just bad parenting if you ask me.*burps* And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to make a run to the border.