Category: Just Plain Weird

Me Like Beer Bigfoot Bottle Opener

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Me Like Beer Bigfoot Bottle Opener
*Talking to Bigfoot* Me like beer. You like beer. We drink beer together and open them with this Bigfoot Bottle Opener. *Pops open our beers*

An hour later…

You shut yer big furry mouths, I’ll drink you under the table. What d’ya mean I’m making an ass o myself? Why you stinky man-ape, thems fightin’ words. One more thing. As long as we’re hanging out you’re gonna refer to me as Han and I’ll call you Chewy. Shut it. Just play along. Did you hit the hyperdrive or am I just seeing stars? *Passes out.*
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Fetus Keychain

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Fetus Keychain
Man I lose my keys all of the time. You know why? Cuz they arent attached to a giant pink fetus, obviously. There’s no way you lose your keys when there’s a fetus involved. Oh and the Fetus Keychain is squishy, so, you know, feel free to use it as a stress reliever or just strangle your fetus for no reason. I ain’t judging. They look like little aliens. It goes with this fetus for your wall.

Terrifying Burnt Faced Baby Doll Head Lamp

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Terrifying Burnt Faced Baby Doll Head Lamp
Looks like someone has been playing in the lava. This Terrifying Burnt Faced Baby Doll Head Lamp will haunt your room and your nightmares. I bet it looks like a scary floating head when all the lights are out. I hope not cuz I don’t want it to float too close to the curtains and burn my shizz down. I’ll be seeing this in my nightmares tonight.

Coffin Coffee and Side Table -Funeral Home Decor

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Coffin Coffee and Side Table
Have a coffin or two with your coffee. This Coffin Coffee and Side Table will make your home look like some mortician owned coffee shop. They can customize these in any color combo you want. I bet they could even put a fake body inside for those who like a full-bodied coffee. Get it? Would you like some cream-atorium with your coffee?
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Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair
What. In. The. F*ck! So I saw this today. Can’t unsee it either. I tried washing my eyes out with bleach too. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I poured bleach in my ears, hoping to burn it from my mind. Still seeing it in my head, but now I also feel woozy. So it’s a fetus. Also a chair. Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair. A fetus of what though? I have no clue. Sit on it, sleep with it, hang out with it all day long if you want. You will have the biggest fetus around.

Fetus! It’s the new futon. He’s very scared of the vacuum for some reason.
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