Can you give me a hand and pass the soap? Uh, that’s not what i meant by hand soap but whatever. It will feel good to have a bony hand caressing my body as I bathe. I’m trying to picture Milo Kunis in the shower with me, but that bony hand rubbing my butt feels more like the withered hand of Betty White. Not saying I’m not into it, just saying it’s weird.
Easy there Betty, you’re gonna get me all lathered up!
I love this Anatomical Sleeping Bag, but I toss and turn a lot, so I’m afraid of punching my kidneys and kicking my intestines all night long. On the other hand this might be a helpful diagram for those nights when aliens abduct you. You can’t sue those dudes for malpractice.
It is literally a body bag. I hope it buzzes when they touch it with tweezers. That damn funny bone always gets you.
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Octopus is a pretty popular decor choice this season. Despite the fact that this Octopus Chandelier looks like it is pooping a glowing orb that will gently fall through the air and land on your dining room table, exploding in a fiery mushroom. That probably won’t happen, but you never know. I farted too close to an electrical outlet once while preparing a chicken dinner and had the pants burned off of me in a flash.
You try explaining how standing buck naked inside a circle of ash that used to be your jeans and holding a chicken, is not in fact some dark ritual. All you can really do is step out of the circle and continue preparing the meal. As dignified as possible.
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Hey look. It’s the stuff. The stuff is awesome. I’m always eating the stuff and touching my stuff. I can’t put my stuff away. Seriously, it’s been a long time since I have seen the movie. All I remember is that this gooey treat is everywhere. A freaky goo that oozes from the earth and is marketed as a dessert.
I think it makes people act like zombies. Sure, I could look it up on Google, but I won’t. Make me punk! Okay, okay, I’m doing it. I just talk tough because I’m afraid to show my emotions. The stuff! Get it before it gets you.
I need these Human Skull Planters like I need a plant growing out of my head, but I have to admit, dude’s got a nice set of hair. It’s all living matter up top, and nothing but dead skull below. At the very least it will scare some kids this Halloween.
I would have put a mini planter under the jaw, just so I could give him a little Chia Pet beard, but that’s just me.