Category: Just Plain Weird

Babayaga Huts: Houses With Chicken Legs

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Babayaga Huts Houses With Chicken Legs
FrivolousForest makes these cool and freaky Babayaga Huts. I have no idea what a babayaga is, but it roughly translates to “Chicken that walks off with your house.” When I saw this I had to check the basement. It all looks pretty solid. I don’t think any giant chickens are going to come out of the ground and try to walk off with this house. The ex-wife already tried that and guess what? This chicken’s legs are way better.

You know how they say that “those legs go on for days” and then whistle at the girl? Yeah, people used to see my ex coming and say, “Those legs go on…the couch? And don’t really get much exercise. Frankly, I’m sorry I looked.” And that’s from a construction worker who put his hat in his hand and bowed his head all funeral-like as we passed.
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Horrifying Spider Doll

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Horrifying Spider Doll
This nightmare on eight legs is a Horrifying Spider Doll. The seller calls it Wilson the Wolf Spider. I call it, “Kill it! Kill it now!” It’s making me all itchy so I just sprayed like a case full of Raid all over my house. Which is why I have red welts all over my body and am having a hard time breathing. At least I’m not worried about hallucinating, since I have already seen this nightmare. What could be worse?

Uh, that crazy gnome with the grasshopper face and the serial killer knife, comes pretty close. I don’t like how his lower half is a praying mantis, sharpening a second knife on it’s legs….

Update: It’s an hour later. I jumped out of my window and let the place air out. Woke up in the garden. It’s much better now. It’s down to insecticide level 2, which means that the circus troop of flaming monkees now dancing around my living room should be about done. No, I did not misspell monkees. It really is the fake TV band from the 60s!
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Horrible Man-Spider

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Horrible Man-Spider
What in the upside-down crawling f**k! Clearly someone spiked my Trix with Quaaludes. Just in case we are not seeing the same thing, I’ll describe what I am seeing here in one simple sentence: Upside-down head, two antennae with eyes, crawling toward me Horrible Man-Spider! Yep. I’m pretty sure I’ve been dosed with some high grade hallucinogenic.

Still, could be worse. I could be passing out and seeing a hazy wavy Bill Cosby suckin’ on a pudding pop. Like the meme says, if you are seeing that, it’s already too late.

Aliens Quilt: I Want To Believe

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Alien Quilt
This cool aliens quilt is just like the kind that grandma used to make. After she was abducted by aliens in the middle of the night. It’s full of little green that have eyes featuring NYC Times Square images with parts of buildings, statues, and other stuff.

If they come to get you at night and see this quilt, they will know that we know. Then you’ll wake up and they will know that we know that they know that we know. Ya know? Man, conspiracy stuff is crazy hard and confusing.

This Is Spinal Tape

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this is spinal tape
This is…Spinal Tape! Now you can give your packages and other taped items some backbone. Also, I can tape this to the back of my shirt whenever my wife says, “Grow a backbone!” Ha. I have one now.

Now you can stick a spine anywhere. I’m gonna stick it all over my house so it looks like it is made of bones, paint it so it glows, then turn out all of the lights and watch the magic happen.