Giant Pickle Body Pillow

Pickle Body Pillow
Ever find yourself in a pickle? Maybe you’re a pickle who finds himself reading in bed. Listen, this world is flippin’ crazy. I don’t know what to tell ya. As far as I know I am hallucinogenic-free. And I still saw it! I just saw a pickle reading in bed. He’s not even in a pickle. Just enjoying a good story. Gettin’ his juice all up in that bed so he can settle in and soak for the night. Like I do. I sweat a lot and stew in my own juices. That’s your TMI for the day. The more you know…

Giant Pickle Body Pillow. Basically the internet really freaks me out.

Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy

Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy
Some toys will make your kids grow up to be doctors or carpenters, or even, god forbid, lawyers. Then some toys, like this Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy will make your kid grow up to be…something else. I’m thinking something between a mad scientist and a serial killer.

Don’t believe me? Check out the video of this toy in action below. Complete with creepy mad scientist guy urging the kids to eat the crazy and nasty toy-food. Perform an autopsy kids. Then eat up. We can’t leave any evidence behind for Mulder and Scully to find after all. Check out how freaky this thing is.
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STD Plush Sculptures

STD Plush Sculptures
Well, I’ve gotten to know these guys so well, it’s nice to be able to put a face with the names. Hello Syphilis. Hello Herp! I wish I could say it’s been awhile, but it’s only been like 2 weeks. You’re taller in person when you’re not making me itch and burn.

*Grabs giant tube of cream and squirts it all over them before shoving them both in a chest and slamming the lid down hard.* NOW I have you both under control! And my doctor said it was impossible! I’m taking these guys to my new girlfriend. I was going to give them to her anyway.
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Therapeutic Cooling And Heating Facehugger…With Soothing Chamomile

Therapeutic Cooling And Heating Facehugger
Normally Facehuggers are for horror, but in this case they are for healing. I have no idea how a Facehugger is supposed to cure what ails you, but this one is filled with rice, chamomile, and lavender…to relax and soothe you.

I might just buy it because it looks like a Facehugger whoopee cushion. Also, I have the strange urge to hit people with it.
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Alien Fetus Fossils

Alien Fetus Fossils
I hate aliens. Always using our planet for their human experimentation. I don’t know what’s worse, that or the fact that their medical ships use the Earth as a place to chuck their alien fetuses. I’m not pro or anti alien abortion, I just think it’s nasty when our scientists dig up these Alien Fetus Fossils.

Bunch of intergalactic litter bugs!