Category: Just Plain Weird

Pop-Up Book of Celebrity Meltdowns

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celebrity meltdowns pop up book
Celebrities melt down. Sometimes like a scented candle, all fragrant and drippy, sometimes like a nuclear reactor. This Pop-Up Book of Celebrity Meltdowns recreates these meltdowns in glorious 3D. Like Tom Cruise all freaking out on Oprah because his Scientology programming went wacky and the tech guys had no idea how to fix him. Or Mike Tyson biting the ear off of another human as they fight in the ring. I wonder if he still has a taste for human flesh.

Turns out, Mikey really will eat anything. Or maybe I just learned everything I know from old cereal commercials. I thought Captain Crunch was a real guy until I joined the Navy and encountered Captain jerk-face. Once I also spent two weeks in the rain forest looking for Toucan Sam. Trust me, if he even lived there, he would have been eaten by giant snakes a long time ago. Anyway, this is a fun book. With moving pictures and everything.
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Edible Eyes

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eyeball food stickers
I won’t eat anything with eyes on it. Wait! What? You put some edible eyes on some doughnuts? Then it shall see it’s death as my wanting mouth descends upon it’s soft and jelly-filled body. It will also see the terror that is the slide down my throat and the hard landing in my stomach, where it will be compacted by the crunchy orange bones of half-digested Cheetos soaking in a river of Mountain Dew. There it will slowly dissolve until only the eyes remain to greet my next victim.

Edible eyes. I’d eat that. Say, my poops not gonna look like a brown trout now, is it? Between the corn and now the eyes, I’ll almost have a not-so Frosty the steamy brown snowman. Just needs a corn-cob pipe. I’ll be the jolly happy soul though. Feels good to unload, even if it does look back from the bowl.
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Naughty Nativities And Heavy Metal Christmas Figurines

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creepy nativity
Add a little Heavy Metal to your Christmas this year with figurines and nativities all done up in a Heavy Metal style. Etsy seller Coffincollector has all kinds of naughty and nice figurines that have been given a scary makeover.

They are guaranteed to give you a nightmare before Christmas. And during. And long after.
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Poo-Dough: Looks Like The Real Thing

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poo playdough
Poo-Dough. Just like the name says, you can form this dough into an authentic looking log of poo and fool your friends. Make real looking Cleveland Steamers without the steam. Make some dookie that doesn’t make you pukey. This is Do It Yourself Doody!

You get the poo mold and brown and yellow clay. The yellow clay is to simulate the corn. It’s fun for the whole turd making family.
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Pee Wee Herman Winking Eye Shoulder Bag

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winking eye bag
Looks like Pee Wee Herman is endorsing fashion accessories now. Like this Winking Shoulder Bag. Hey, I think your bag has something in it’s eye. It keeps winking at me.

If Big Brother or the Illuminati had spying fashion accessories, this is basically what it would look like. It would be all like, “Yeah I just saw you tear up that parking ticket.” And then a bunch of drones would come and carry you off to prison. Is that the life you want Pee Wee?
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