This skull business card holder is perfect for undertakers and such. It really makes an impression and insures that they won’t just throw out your card when they leave. Nothing says repeat business like cards in a human skull.
The cards really should have a brain design though. And the person should have to reach deep into the skull to get one and get their hand all squishy and wet. See, this is why my businesses never get off the ground.
LEGO sets have changed since I was a kid. This custom LEGO strip club has it all for $275. A DJ, a greasy looking Chip N’ Dale looking Male stripper in bow tie and two female strippers with wads of cash everywhere.
What’s next? A LEGO crackhouse? I could never play with this set. I would be too busy throwing tiny plastic money as I twirled that stripper around the pole, then cleaning it up and taking it in the back room to count it up. I would also be spraying windex constantly and wiping everything down. Hey, if I built it, I’m technically the proprietor. Gotta take care of business. You girls get back to work or you’ll be working the Duplo club down the street!
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Basically the idea behind this Stink Yourself Slim is that you spray this stuff in your kitchen and it makes you not want to eat food. So you lose weight. Sounds legit. I was seriously looking into it, because as my wife said when I was reaching for one of those limited edition rubbermaid bins of Doritos with the prize inside, “I would call you a fat tubby bast**d, except you don’t fit in the tub. You disgust me!”
That was when she slapped my hand and experimented with her own kitchen spray, spraying me with a face full of mace!
“My eyes! My eyes!” I was wreathing around on the floor like a fat man breakdancing, eyes burning and crying. “Are the Doritos okay?” I tried to feel for them with my arm. “It burns! It stinks!”
“Then stink yourself thin you sorry man baby! And when you can see again, clean this lard lair up. Or I swear I will strangle you like the slug you are. Princess Leia style.”
Long story short, I didn’t eat all night. Sprays in the kitchen are the way to go.
This cat clutch bag looks like a show cat had a date with a steamroller. Minus the bloody organs and tire tracks of course. It’s purrfectly pink and you girls will want to get it right meow. It’s a great accessory if you are having a Fancy Feast at a restaurant or just sitting at home eating a tuna sandwich while sighing as you watch your 70 cats go about their business of coughing up hairballs and pooping to the gentle sounds of Maury Povich on the TV.
Just one more cat can’t hurt. It’s just a clutch purse. It’s not like you have a problem. You can stop at any time.
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Every year it’s the same thing. Kids waking up on Christmas morning to tear the gift wrapping to shreds, to get at their presents. How do you think those presents feel? They are bound by ribbon, wrapped up tight with bright colored wrap and held hostage under the tree until your grimy-fingered rugrats appear at the break of dawn one morning and slice them to pieces!
Well, now the tables are turned. This year, the presents will be opening the kids! I love how even though you can’t see what’s in little Susie’s torso, the boy present is just yanking a firetruck out of little Bobby. Serves him right. Bobby was a whiny greedy brat! And look at all of the children under the tree that they still have to open.