Category: Just Plain Weird

Life Size Skull Lamp: Hey, Your Brains Are Glowing

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spark of life skull lampThis “Spark of Life” skull lamp from Etsy seller jackofthedust will light up your room with grey matter. Usually having brains splattered all over your room is something to clean up before the cops get there, but the only thing spilling from this cranium is light. There are several colors available.

It’s like this skull just had the mother of all ideas and the light bulb in his head went nuclear. Like that time I had the idea to make a website full of weird stuff you can buy online. Now I’m buying a bunch of crazy stuff and am basically a hoarder, plus I’m working like everyday. And do you guys appreciate it? Do you? I’m just messin’ with ya. You guys are the best. Keep sending in tips about weird messed up or weird cool stuff. You see that picture above, that’s your brain on Creepbay.
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Beard Beer Can Koozie

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beard beer kozieKeep your beer cool with this Beard Beer Can Koozie. Have several beers? Set them up with some mini guitars and enjoy your ZZ Pop-Tops. Beer always tastes better when it has a beard like a mountain man. And don’t be afraid of spillage. Just like your real beard, this beard will sop up any beer that’s spilled. In other words, redneck cologne.

I’ll take a beer in a beard any day over a bee in my beard. Or a beard in my beer.

Large Black Velvet Cat Cleaning Itself Plush Sculpture

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cat cleaning itself plushI should get this weird cat cleaning itself plush sculpture to show my cat how messed up she looks when she is doing kitty yoga and licking herself all over like she’s a friggin’ ice cream cone. It’s just rude. You don’t see me lifting my leg up and licking my flabby nerd body in front of company. No. I wait until I’m alone to do that stuff because I know it’s f***ing weird.

This thing is 16 inches tall and looking pretty creepy with no damn eyes at all. No way I would let this in my house. This cat’s ready to give himself more licks than the Tootsie Pop owl and will probably finish off with a great big bite too.

Click through for more pics, including one where this cat is doing his thing outside for the neighbors to see. No damn shame!
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Edible Candy Bra Is Sadly Not Packing Reese’s Cups

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Edible Candy BraA candy necklace that is not a necklace at all, but a bra that women can wear on their boobies? Never got offered one of those on Halloween. I guess this edible boulder holder is all about the foreplay. Well, I may be old fashioned, but I don’t think that foreplay should give you cavities. So just take that off right now and let me nibble for about ten minutes, then we can get down to business.

Ten minutes later:

Damn that was good. Sorry babe, can’t do the deed. Too much sugar. Sleepy time now. Sugar coma. Great choice in lingerie. You should buy another one. Nighty night. *mumbles…snores…drools*

One minute later:

*Jolts awake* Why are you hitting me? OW that hurts. OW quit it! What the hell are you whipping me with?

I did buy another you son of a b***h and now we’re gonna use it. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Your new name is Candy Man. On your knees and sing the song! DO IT!

*crying/singing* Who can make the sun rise?…..
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Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades

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mommy dearestNo more wire hangers! Okay. Okay. Damn. Chill mom! Stop beating me with the damn things already. I’m going plastic, I swear! These Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades will remind you to call your mom on Mother’s Day or to move several states away.

Good thing that kid didn’t have these blades on her ceiling fan. Joan Crawford would have REALLY freaked the hell out, ripping the blades off fan and beating her with them.

Bonus video of Mommy Dearest below. And I thought my mom freaked out when she stepped on LEGO pieces!
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