Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb

Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb Whoa. Your hair is going to look cool thanks to this Sugar Skull Wood Folding Comb. Take it out of your pocket, flick it open like a switchblade and comb those locks. You’ll be looking as good as that bearded, well haired skeleton on it’s side.

Comb your hair, comb your beard, hell comb your pubes and make Mr. Winky look all dapper. I don’t judge. This is one stylish comb that will come in handy. I’m gonna comb my beard all day. For snacks. Cuz that’s where I store them. I’m lying, I don’t have a beard. My five o’clock shadow is more like 4 o’clock and still waiting. I just don’t seem to have the necessary man-genes to grow a fuzzy face.

Skull With Beard And Glasses

Skull With Beard And Glasses
And now for a Skull With Beard And Glasses. You know why I like this? Well, aside from the obvious fact that it’s a skull with a beard and spectacles. Because it looks like that dude from Mythbusters.Is it him? No it’s not. Myth busted! That makes me the new Mythbusters!

I’m pulling the trigger on this one. I just need someone to talk to and he looks like a good listener.

Horrifying: Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin

Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin

GAHHHHHH! Kill it! It’s all hairy and looks like a lumberjack, but smells like a girl! This Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin nearly gave me a heart attack! He/she looks just as surprised as I was! I was just checking out Amazon and things got all hairy!

Hey, how does this thing give you the time? It checks it’s sasqwatch.

But no. I can’t look at it anymore. This is me slowly backing away. Then running like an olympian.

Cthulhu Beard Made From A Green Octopus Tentacle

Cthulhu Beard Made From A Green Octopus Tentacle
What’s up Cthulhu? I see you took my advice and grew a Cthulhu beard. See, now you look like a wise and evil ancient horror. You’re welcome. What? No, I’m not gonna help you trim that thing. All these scissors are gonna do is cut off like a million bits of tentacle until it looks like a serial killer fought an octopus in here. Okay fine, hold still.

An hour later…

*Sweeping up tentacle shavings from all over the floor.* What’s that? Bag it up and take all of it to a restaurant? Some place that serves calamari? So that your evil can affect the bellies of a million mortals? Sounds like a plan. It’s all swept up and I’m outta here. I’ll check in on you next week and we’ll see about fixing that computer problem. No, I know, there’s really no reason your Facebook doesn’t work. You adjusted the rabbit ears and everything.

*Grumbles.* Christ, this guy’s worse than my own grandmother. Oh well. Ya gotta be cool to your elders.

Beard Beer Can Koozie

beard beer kozieKeep your beer cool with this Beard Beer Can Koozie. Have several beers? Set them up with some mini guitars and enjoy your ZZ Pop-Tops. Beer always tastes better when it has a beard like a mountain man. And don’t be afraid of spillage. Just like your real beard, this beard will sop up any beer that’s spilled. In other words, redneck cologne.

I’ll take a beer in a beard any day over a bee in my beard. Or a beard in my beer.