Category: Just Plain Weird

People Pot Pie: It’s What’s For Dinner

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

people pot pieEtsy seller ItCameFromUnderMyBed is quite the wiz in the kitchen. Apparently, she specializes in pot pies. People Pot Pies. Pot Pies that are made out of people!

I’m not stealing a pie from her windowsill ever. Besides, for $15 I can get a real pot pie from the bakery across the street and I’m pretty sure that one isn’t made of people. Although it does share a dark alley with a Chinese place where dogs and cats wander in and are never seen again. People too actually. Sure, sometimes it “looks” like a face on the crust, but that’s just my imagination. Just like that earring I found inside was my imagination playing tricks on me. That’s all… *crying* Are people-less pot pies sacred to no one anymore?
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Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama In A Can

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twin peaks dioramaEtsy seller Boxartig is selling this cool Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama which comes in a fancy can. Pretty neat. If you want to relive some scenes from the classic show, it beats hiring a dwarf and pumping him full of acid so he dances around, snapping his fingers while talking backwards.
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Leaf-it! Leaf Sticky Notes

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leaf-itThese Leaf-it! Leaf Sticky Notes look just like real leaves. You know, the kind that grow on trees. Outside. You’ve probably seen pictures on the internet. Trust me, they exist. They aren’t just places for Keebler elves to make cookies.

These Leaf-it sticky notes are so real looking, I don’t recommend them for people who live in the woods. (Again, look it up on the internet. It’s a magical place full of the previously mentioned trees.) You’ll spend all day just looking for your to-do list because some squirrel ran off with it and is now using it as bedding.
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Alien Slave Sculptural Side Table

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alien side tableIt is going to be so awesome having my own alien slave side table. It can hold drinks and serve me all of my meals.

Bring me a steak spaceman!

Yes master, how do you want it done? Rare? Well done? Medium well?

Not medium well, you idiot! I’ll have it done ros-well. This time try to be discreet. Cow mutilations are in the news again. Wait a minute! This report says that only the rectum and sex organs were missing. If my steak tastes like cow butt and scrotum E.T will be phoning home with two black eyes.

I already have those master.

Why you smart-mouthed little- *Strangles alien neck like Homer does to Bart*

The Skull Chair Awaits It’s Next Victim

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

skull chairWhat manner of skulduggery is this? You mean this is a skull that I can actually sit in? I think those teeth might hurt my butt. That guy looks pretty comfortable though. He’s just chilling, reading the sales circulars. He looks so relaxed he appears to be on the verge of dropping a Cleveland Steamer, but he forgot to take those mailman shorts off. That’s gonna be messy.

Okay. Looks comfy. I’ll take one. And I promise not to get so relaxed that I poop myself. It doesn’t have a tongue right? I’m not playing some weird fanny tickle game with my furniture.
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