Check out this Weird Creature Caught on Tape. Well, not tape. video. I don’t mean it was trapped in a big scotch tape trap either. Man, this thing is freaky. Watch the whole video. Could be a grey bigfoot or an alien. It looks very gargoyle like. I thought it might be my ex-wife at first, but I checked and she has an alibi. Also, this thing didn’t enter the dude’s home and nag the guy about taking his shoes off inside, so nope, not her. It kind of moves like an ape. I’m gonna say it’s a trans-dimensional being.
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Category: Paranormal Activity
Horrifying Devil Moth Terrifies the Internet
This devil moth has been all over the internet lately. It has the normal body of a moth, but also features several hairy tentacles that pulsate and make people scream. It is actually known as a Creatonotos gangis. AKA “F this shizz, I’m outta here.” This is what is starring in my nightmares tonight, with a special guest appearance from “Poop, evacuating from my butt.”
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Dragon Skeleton Found in China
Dragons! They do exist! Check out this Dragon Skeleton Found in China. A bunch of villagers discovered this dragon skeleton in China. It is sixty-feet-long with a horned skull, a pair of dinosaur-like arms, and tons of rib bones. Man, all that sweet rib meat is just gone. No sign of wings though, so I’m thinking long ass devil snake. Is it a hoax? I have no idea. Probably just these villagers playing a realistic game of D and D. I feel sorry for the guy who rolls low on initiative when it comes time to clean that up.
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Miami Politician Says Aliens Gave Her A Spaceship Ride
A congressional candidate from Miami, Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, says she’s been aboard a spaceship crewed by aliens.
Three blond, big-bodied beings (Probably big-bootied too.) — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have been communicating telepathically with her several times since. She is running for Congress currently. Probably because the aliens told her too. They like filling our government with their own people so they can further the alien agenda. Here are some of the things the aliens told her:
▪ There are 30,000 skulls — “different from humans” — in a cave in the Mediterranean island of Malta.
Good to know.
▪ The world’s “energy center” is in Africa.
Cool. We should totally tap that. I’d tap that real good.
▪ The Coral Castle, a limestone tourist attraction South Miami-Dade, is actually an ancient Egyptian pyramid.
Except it can’t be, because it’s in South Miami.
▪ “God is a universal energy.”
Cool. And religion is a universal remote.
via Miami Herald
Guy Blames Aliens For Crime Spree
So this Wisconsin guy faces a bunch of charges after repeatedly vandalizing a home, cuz Aliens made him do it.
Over the last three weeks, Anouphong Inphachack allegedly defaced a residence in the city of Sheboygan on several occasions, doing things like smashing windows and spray painting on the side of the home. Inphachack says that these actions were orchestrated by aliens and that he is the victim of an ET virus. He says that the ‘DNA’ message on the side of the house was his way of calling attention to the fact that aliens have altered his genetic material to make him shorter.
“They are switching dimensions all the time. Setting people up for a bad time,” he told investigators, “I’m telling you the truth. The alien virus will evolve mankind.”
Hell, if I acted out every time aliens experimented on me, I’d never get out of jail. Dude needs to learn to live with a sore anus and being shorter. I suggest hemorrhoid cream and platform shoes.
via Sheboygan Press