Tag: accessory

Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume

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Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume
I heard the same thing all the time when I was a kid. “You have a chip on your shoulder kid!” Yeah so? *Turns head and takes a giant bite out of it.* Now I have half a chip on my shoulder. And a bunch of crumbs.

This Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume put a giant chip on your shoulder. Ruffled, because they’re the best. Possibly Lays. If I could lick it I would know for sure.

I would wear this thing to a Halloween party, sigh all night, then go to leave and bump into a girl with some dip on her shoulder. It would be magic. *Dreaming all dreamy-eyed with my chin in my hands.* I hope it’s poison ivy.
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Antique Skull Travel Cases

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Antique Skull Travel Cases
These Antique Skull Travel Cases are a cool way to creep out the TSA while traveling.

Whatcha got in there?

Nothin’.

Mind if I take a look.

I would rather you not.

Open up the case sir.

It was your idea. You open it. *Backs up slowly.*

*Guy hits the buttons and the case lid flies open. Two midgets in full clown costumes climb out. One of them kicks the guy in the nads. As he’s doubled over, the other midget clown pushes the dude, who falls into the suitcase, screaming as if he’s falling forever. Both midget clowns climb back inside and close the lid.*

*Looks around airport. Tries to act nonchalant.*

We all good guys?

*There’s a knock on the suitcase from inside.* Awesome. *Goes on my way, whistling.*

Vampire Teeth Tights

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vampire teeth tights
If tights could talk, this one would say, “I vant to bite your butt!” Now that’s something to sink your teeth into. These Vampire Teeth Tights are adorable. Perfect for Halloween or just everyday creepwear. I gotta say those are some long legs. You can’t hear me, but I’m doing cat-calls right now and woot-ing it up!

Actually calf calls would be more appropriate since we’re talking tights. You got some nice calves and I ain’t talking baby cows. That lady over there? She’s got nice baby cows. You have nice calves. And that’s no bull.

This BatCape Poncho Makes You The Head Bat Honcho

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BatCape Poncho
This BatCape Poncho says I am a creature of the night and don’t I look fabulous?

Yes. Yes you do. Now stop prancing around in that thing and let’s go fight crime already! *Looks down at my leotard, elf shoes and boy shorts.* Why did I have to be Robin again? Oh yeah, that’s right, it looked like a pregnant bat when I wore it. Now I just look like a pregnant elf. *Punches one gloved hand into the other!* Let’s do this thing!
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Teeny Weeny Zombie Bikini

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Teeny Weeny Zombie Bikini
She wore a teeny weeny zombie bikini…. And that was the day I decided to become a zombie hunter. Nah, not really. I thought it just sounded like the beginning of a cool love story.

I must be a zombie too, because that bikini makes my heart skip a beat and suddenly I’m all about the flesh. Brains? Who needs ’em? I didn’t get this far with brains. Oh you mean your brain. Sure, I guess it’s alright. Sure, I dig your brain. It’s why I approached you in the first place. Yeah. Wanted to mention some uh, philosopy and stuff.