Zombie Combat Academy Graduation Rings

Zombie Combat Academy Graduation Rings
Damn, look what I just got! My Zombie Combat Academy Graduation Rings from VonErickson. Now I officially know how to kick zombie ass. I got my diploma and everything. The teachers all said I excelled at the whole kicking a zombie in the balls thing, but I needed work on shooting them in the head with a sniper rifle. Still, I passed. I told you I would too amount to something mom!

I mean,when the zombies come, I’m still gonna run and hide in the basement and hoard all of the food,while helping no one. But it’s nice to know I can deal with zombies if I need to.

Checkout the video below.
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Alien Skull Ring – With This Ring I Thee Probe

Alien Skull Ring - With This Ring I Thee ProbeAnybody else ever wake up the next morning after an abduction and find this Alien Skull Ring on your finger? And you’re not sure who your husband is, but judging by the burning in uranus, you know you had a hell of a honeymoon. Yeah, me either, I was just askin’.

I, the perverse alien dirtbag with a thing for hindquarter exploration, take you, puny human, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to probe, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

He asked me! He asked me! #blessed #sorebumforweeks #cantbeabindingcontract

Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover

Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover
Damn. That Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover is awesome. You know what they say, a bun on the head is better than a bun in the oven. That’s what I heard anyway. This is gonna make some librarian look totally badass. It’s Mary Poppins meets Mad Max. Where did they meet? I have no idea, but I hear they sat down for tea and talked shop for a few hours. Then they made sweet love and the credits gently rolled.

Vincent Price Cameo Necklace

Vincent Price Cameo Necklace
Vincent Price! Come on down! You are the next contestant on the Price is righttttt! Would you pay any price for a Vincent Price necklace? The price would have to be right. And it is. Even I can afford this and I eat Ramen noodles every night out of sippy cup. It separates the noodles from the MSG juice. That way I have both my meal and a nice drink. Consider that a lifehack peeps! And with that I’m outta here.

If Vincent was born a triplet, he’d be Vincent Thrice. If he were twins, he would be Vincent Twice. Just a little food for thought.

Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers

Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers
OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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