Fake Pokemon Aquariums

Fake Pokemon Aquariums
Gotta catch ’em all. And put ’em in your aquarium! Check out these fake Pokemon Aquariums. Pokemon trainers are some sick bast**ds! They won’t stop until the entire population has been decimated. That’s why it’s up to you to be eco-friendly and stuff and collect these fake aquariums. Let the real ones run free.

Except for Squirtle. You should hunt that little *^#%$*#@ down and unload two barrels full of buckshot up his shell. Squirtle and I have unfinished business when I meet him in the wild. Let’s just say they don’t call him Squirtle for nothin’ and I don’t keep the pool covered at night. Unless that was my neighbor. *Thinks…* Nah. It’s much more likely to be Squirtle.
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Become A Needle Felted Zombie

Become A Needle Felted Zombie
Hey guys, let’s all become Needle Felted Zombies. You get the yarn, I’ll poke you with needles. Etsy seller DarlinGirlCreations will create a zombie in your likeness. Not mine. That one on the right looks about right for me, except I’m usually passed out on a chair with Cheeto drool dripping from my mouth. Otherwise it’s uncanny. Like an X-Man. I’m Drool-verine. *Snnnkkkk! Extends my metal claws and starts needle felting zombies like Edward Scissorhands after happy hour.*

Looks at my masterpieces. Ohhhhhhh. Needle felted right? For some reason I heard “Beetle Felted Zombies”. Now what am I gonna do with 4 felted beetle zombies? Hmmmm. I know. Felt undead Beatles tribute band!

Poop Monster

Poop Monster
I think we’ve all seen these guys. You’re minding your own business eating like your 10th taco when suddenly you start to cramp and have to make a run for the border. You strain, you curse, you do that fast pregnancy breathing thing and boom, next thing you know you drop a Poop Monster. Mine usually looks sad and waves his stumpy poop arms at me before I flush and whisk him away to the land of fecal enchantment.

Finders Creepers Horror Figurines

Finders Creepers
Jeepers creepers, check out Finders Creepers. They have cool one of a kind horror figurines that are like your grandma’s figurines, but not so nice after they have had a makeover. You can choose from Lizzie Borden, aliens and other assorted creepers.

Did Lizzie Borden do it? Duh! She had an axe to grind.
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Patricia Craftfail

Patricia Craftfail
Wowzers! I don’t even know what to say. This thing goes by the name Patricia. *Speaks to the 40 year old corpse in the rocking chair.* Do you like my art mother? I made this just for you. It has your name.

Some artists work in clay or paint. This one works in screws, nails and cigarettes to burn things with. On the plus side, it’s apparently poseable, so you can display it in your cabinet of horrors in a variety of poses.