This Ouija Board Table is perfect for any evening when you want to have dinner and a seance. In any order you prefer. Make sure you drink some spirits with your meal. Just don’t drink real spirits. That’s called possession. Which is nine-tenths of the law, but also a horrifying ordeal. So don’t do it. Also make sure you hover the planchette over GOODBYE after every meal, when you get up. It’s just good manners.
Tag: bizarre
Well Read Taxidermy Toilet Mouse
Just what I always wanted to display on my mantle. A mouse taking a dump. This Taxidermy Toilet Mouse is on the john, reading about Godzilla attacking. Probably taking himself a massive Godzilla cuz he had Mexican food earlier. He’s got himself a fresh roll of TP nearby, so at least he’s not gonna run out if he has the Hershey squirts. It would be nice if the mice around my house would use the damn toilet and stop leaving their tiny turds everywhere.
Before and After – Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight
I used to be a fat bat, but now I’m slim and loving life. It’s all thanks to my new no eating all-guano diet. Check out my before and after. Oh so sexy. Who needs wings anyway. Got myself a nice thigh gap now.
This Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight is gonna look great on your desk. It’s a good reminder to keep going with that diet. But you know, not forever. Just sayin’.
My God It’s Full Of Skulls Belt Buckle
This Skulls Belt Buckle is pretty appropriate for me to have over my junk cuz it’s like a graveyard down there if ya know what I mean. I get less action than there is on bingo night at an old folks home. It’s all good though… No, it’s not. Dear God, I’m so lonely. I just need some love. Why doesn’t anyone love me? Oh yeah, it’s probably cuz I post weird stuff on the internet every day and chicks just don’t understand. Maybe this belt buckle can turn my game around. Getting rid of the suspenders and bow tie would be a good next step too.
Cheeto Alien In A Tub Figurine With Glowing Water
So that happened. Now you know what it looks like when an alien takes a relaxing bath. It looks like this may be the elusive Cheeto species of alien, so I’m surprised he didn’t dissolve in the water. Anyway, now you can own your very own Alien In A Tub Figurine. The water even glows under a black light. I’m glad his Cheeto alien privates are underwater. I don’t need to be seeing an alien Cheeto d**k! Hmmm. Maybe that’s what a bag of Cheetos is: just a big bag of alien d**ks! Let that sink in.