Big Honking Nose Necklace Pendant

nose pendant
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Wear a nose above your cleavage. Thanks to this Nose Necklace Pendant. I know that’s where I would be sniffing around if I was a pendant. It’s a pretty unique piece of jewelry. Until it catches a damn cold and then the woman wearing it is all, “I’ve been slimed” as she freaks out and tries to yank it from her neck.

Maybe you should just calm down and use that tissue paper that you stuff your bra with to clean up. That’s right, I know about that. I’ve been with enough “stuffers” to know. I can spot real breasts anywhere. Chicken or otherwise. Anyway, that’s the only downside I see with this pendant. Have fun Nostral-damus.
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Hippopotamus Chair

hippo chair
Finally someone carved a chair out of a Hippo and painted the whole thing black. Hippo-campus? That ain’t no brain part. That’s a typical American college. Ha ha. I slay me. Because most Americans are obese. Hey, I’m American, so I can say that. You can’t France! Back off! Anywho, this Hippopotamus Chair will make your living room look like a wildlife sanctuary.

Whereas having a real hippo in your home to sit on makes it more of a stank-tuary. They can’t be housebroken. believe me, I’ve tried. It always ends in a steaming pile oozing down the sides of the coffee table. This fake hippo is much better and it’s only like 100 grand. Hit the link above to see the whole collection of freaky chairs.

Hashtag Costume #Costume

hash tag costume
The hash is a smash! You’ve used it on social media. You have abused it. Now you can be one with the hashtag. Or, you know, just use it to play tic-tac-toe on yourself.

Hey, it beats skin tags. It also beats a rashtag. It’s the all around super smash tag. Wear it with the wrong colors and it’s a clash tag. Share it, wear it, get on social media and declare it!

Disclaimer: I’m really not that excited about this costume, which is basically four strips of fabric, but I had like 4 lattes and a bag of oreos so even Dr. Phil felt awesome today. I kept swearing it was up for an Emmy until I sugar crashed and woke up to The View. I screamed and passed out again.

Nightmare Decor: Nosferatu Head

nosferatu vampire taxidermy head
Bring me the head of Nosferatu at once! Damn, that was fast! To be honest, I’m not sure what to do with it now that I have it. Didn’t really think you would deliver.

This Nosferatu head looks terrifying from one side and extra terrifying from the other. That’s because the other side is exposed so you can see his brains. This might not have happened had he not been so negative. Nosferatu. Pffft! How about YESferatu? He was always so contrary.
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Freak Masks Let You Wear Someone Elses Face

freak masks
Get your freak on with these awesome freak masks. They literally let you wear someone else’s face on a ski mask. You can even wear a mask of your own face if it is freaky. I’d make my face available, but you couldn’t handle my face. Besides, I have to remain incognito. More like incog-neato, cuz I’m so awesome.

Just upload a picture of someone’s face to the web app, and Firebox do the rest. Once you get the mask you can just walk around your town getting arrested for being a rapist, a thief and for being just plain weird. All of the GIF images at the link above are really freaking me out, despite the fact that choosy moms choose GIF.