Tag: bizarre

Fou Lard Bacon Scarf

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bacon scarThis Fou Lard Bacon scarf looks delicious. It should keep you warm in the winter months and not make your neck all greasy like the real thing. Fun fact: The French word for a silk scarf is foulard. So…Fou Lard. That’s word play. Which is foreplay for scrabble players. I think.

Basically the guys who make this say that the word is composed by fou (insane) and lard (bacon). If bacon is insane then call my frying pan an asylum and lets give ’em all some really hot therapy. The doctor is in and it’s a good day when all of the patients end up in my tummy.

Do I even know what I’m saying? Not really? I’m mesmerized by the idea of bacon on one’s neck.
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eYe2eYe: Look Like Magneto, Feed Hummingbirds On Your Face

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hummingbird feeder
If you want to watch hummingbirds from up close just feed them on your face with the eYe2eYe Wearable Hummingbird Feeder. This full-face helmet makes you look like Magneto, except instead of attracting metal you will be attracting tiny birds that suck on sugar water and poop on your shoes.

This wearable bird feeder has a feeding tube between the eye holes, so you better hope they stay on target. They’ll peck your eye out kid! After a week of feeding birds you’ll be permanently cross-eyed.
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Headless Teddy Bear Lamp

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teddy bear lampThis is the latest in decapitated teddy bear decor for your kids room. It connects via USB with plug adapters and gives off a soft warm glow that is sure to give your little one nightmares.

Every night your little bundle of nerves will wake up screaming and you will rush in the room to find a new decapitated stuffed animal from his collection. You’ll ask him about it and he will tell you from trembling lips that they are the nightly sacrifice that his master demands. And that he is down to only one stuffed animal left on the shelf…

I should know. That boy was me. Still have that lamp. It’s why I buy stuffed animals in bulk. It’s also why my backyard is full of stuffed torsos with no heads.
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Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon Fragrance Oil

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nicolas cage
Now you can experience the smell of Nic Cage as he goes about his daily chores. With a goofy look on his face of course, cause that’s what Nic does. Experience the gentle scent of Nic Cage Raking Leaves On A Brisk October Afternoon.

Leaves. Crisp fall air. Deciduous woods. A black leather jacket, well-loved. Maybe the one he wore in Ghost Rider, because there’s also some Egyptian Amber in there reminiscent of some of his more, erm, peculiar character acting habits. A light musk, and just a hint of patchouli and men’s aftershave.

Wait. Nic Cage can actually use a rake? I don’t think that is very believable. However, your Nic Cage in leaf wreath label has sold me on it.

Ctrl Alt Deli: Deli Keyboard

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deli keyboard
Every time I have a sandwich it ends up all over my keyboard anyway. I might as well just get this Deli Keyboard, so it all blends in and looks clean. I hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sorry, keep meaning to vacuum the lettuce out from under the h key. I made a rap song about it.

My CAPS LOCKS are due to cold cuts,
The mess around the keyboard drives me nuts.
My Ctrl keys are hard salami,
Type real fast get a Mayonnaise tsunami.
You wanna type a letter,
Better chip away dat cheddar,
Keyboard clogged like “Damn Son”,
What you expect, I like ham son!
Shoulda bought a Dell, but instead I got a deli.
Ladies like damn son, hide that belly.

Word