Etsy seller DeadGreedy has an obsession with Greedo from Star Wars. He makes all kinds of art with “dead Greedo” as the subject matter. And for the record, Han shot first, but only because Greedo’s fingers are all long and freaky.
The crucified Greedo is my favorite. He dies for George Lucas’ prequel sins.
Read more “Star Wars Dead Greedo Action Figures”
Night lights keep monsters away. This SPAM night light keeps other more nutritious foods away while it beckons you with it’s ominous evil glow.
Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
The more your eat,
The more you mess your seat.
Bake it, fry it.
You’ll never want to diet.
Open the can and down that juice,
Then sit on the can and let it loose.
A planet where apes have evolved from Schwinns? Get your handlebars out from under me you damn dirty ape! This crazy Simian Schwinn is bananas. It’s nuts!
The only thing the seller says in the ad is to not get it wet. I can only guess it turns into some weird monkey-gremlin mode of transport in the rain. I promise not to feed it after midnight either. Can I just take it for a spin? I’m digging the whole chimp head hood ornament thing and the banana where a reflector should be. I shall name it Dr. Zaius.
Read more “This $15,000. Monkey Bike Is Bananas”
Please mother. Stop arguing with me. I will find a nice girl soon. You haven’t even touched your dinner. Not again mother! Why must you always fall out of your chair? You are so tense and stiff as a board. Yes, mother. Yes I will look for another victim today. Stop laughing. *Covers ears* Stop laughing at me! I’m a good boy! A good boy! Your good boy will bring home another victim and you’ll see.
2 months later…
I tricked you mother! You are now for sale on Etsy. Once they buy you I will never have to hear your nagging again! Besides, I need more time with dad. Even though all he does is drink. Now where is he hiding? Oh yeah. That’s right. Mom! Where’s the shovel?
Read more “Life-Size Posable Corpse”
That’s great. I poop in a public park one time and I get arrested. These dogs get a calendar. That does it! I just need a heavy lunch and a photographer, so I can get a 2016 calendar out on time.
Oh man…*holds belly as it groans* Already had the heavy lunch. Just need a photographer and I have January covered. Only 11 months to go.
Read more “2015 Pooping Dogs Calendar”