Tag: candle

Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cable knit sweater candleIt is getting downright cold outside. It’s time for sweaters, fleece and mittens. It’s so cold, even the candles are starting to dress for winter. Take these Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles. They’re dressed up all warm and cozy, just like you and me.

I saw these last week and thought I could make my own. Long story short, a few sweaters glued around a wick and reinforced with earwax that I had laying around don’t make for a safe candle. Or as the fireman said, “It’s this idiot again guys. Let it burn!” Then later while I was sipping hot cocoa with a blanket around me, “Son, you are a special kind of stupid. Should you even be living on your own?”

Well duh! I’ve been saying that for years. Anyone have a sweater? I’m freezing here.

Haunted House Black Beeswax Candle

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haunted house candleThis haunted house candle made from beeswax will let you do something you’ve always wanted to do. Burn down a haunted house and send the ghouls back to their ever lovin’ hell. When you get to the bottom of the candle and it’s nothing but a gooey pile of waxy rubble, you can be all like, “Haha ghosts. Now what are you gonna haunt?” *You* “Wait. What?” *How did you think it worked?*

“I can reshape this beeswax in no time. Just give me like 4 hours.” *Why 4 hours?* “I have kind of an attention deficit problem. I was gonna play Mario Kart, but then I pet a cat, then noticed the internet. That reminded me about Minecraft and a few hours later, I looked up, saw the candle and lit it because…fire.” *Booming voice* MORON *whoooooosh* *curtains lift in the breeze*

Well, there’s another ghost successfully banished. Out you pixies go, through the door or out the window. Oh look, a cat video.
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Hammer Horror ‘Thing’ Hand Candle: It Bleeds As It Burns….

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Hammer horror thing hand candleRemember the old Hammer Horror movies? How about The Addams Family? Remember stuff like creepy hands creeping all over the place and strangling people, flipping the bird and whatnot? Well, here is a genuine “Thing” candle. It’s molded from a real human hand and even bleeds while it burns. Only $51.54 from Etsy.

Check out more images below.
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Attack Of The Killer Jar Heads

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Jar HeadEtsy seller MindsEyeCreation makes all kinds of scary and creepy stuff. This evil hell spawn which looks like an amalgamation of all of my ex-wives is called a jar head. Not because he’s a marine, but because he actually has a jar head.
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