When you’re dead tired, relax on the coffin couch. You spend most of your time on the couch anyway. They might as well bury you in it. Just binge watch your favorite show and then close the lid for a nap. When it’s time for a longer nap, like a dirt nap, just have some friends pick the whole thing up and throw it in a hole in the backyard. Just like how I buried my pet parakeets. Only, you know, like on a 100X larger scale.
Tag: casket
Hand-Crafted Coffin Display Case / Book Shelf
Who says that the art of reading is dead? No really. Who said that? I can’t remember. Well, reading isn’t dead, but that doesn’t mean you can’t treat your books like a corpse and store them in a coffin. This Coffin Display Case / Book Shelf is the perfect place for all of your scary book and terrifying tomes.
It’s a tomb for your tomes. I made a funny! Also made a funny earlier after eating 3 cheeseburgers and 2 orders of fries. Though it wasn’t funny for the pimply-face Burger king employee named Earl who entered with a respirator and a mop bucket soon after I left. The women in my life all be like, “Did you have a salad?” Yes, I did. A “side salad”, which I left on the side as per the name. Any other questions?
Decorative Coffin Full Of Chocolate
Sweeeet! A Decorative Coffin along with the chocolate that’s gonna put me inside it’s cramped embrace one day! Important note: These aren’t real chocolates, which is why my first bite ended in agony with bits of broken tooth all over my floor. Tried superglue, but that just made my mouth look like tetris pieces all lined up like in a game played by a twitchy speed freak.
So it was back to the dentist. I walk in and it’s the usual. Sees me. Smiles like a lunatic. Pulls up some luxury car websites on his iPad and asks what I’m going to be buying him today. I like that he includes his victims in his purchase decisions. Looks in my mouth. I point and say “Tetris”. He looks deeper. “No. That’s more like Jenga. Let’s get started. Which piece should I remove first? Love this game.”
After that I just remember waking up to him yelling “YAHTZEE!” and shaking my teeth in a cup with some nurses in the corner of the room.
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Dead Doll In A Coffin
Turn your dollhouse into a funeral home with this $61. dead doll in a coffin.
Dolly was a good doll. Even though she was a simple woman, she enjoyed retreats to Barbie’s more upscale Malibu beach home and never complained when little Sally made her make out with Ken, straining her relationship with her old friend Barbie. She never got over their falling out. Dolly was found on the top floor of her victorian dollhouse, swinging from the rafters. A note was left on a miniature table beside her. It was too small to read.
Sad story.
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Coffin Shaped Pet Bed For That Final Cat Nap
This $45 coffin bed for pets prepares your pet every night for that final deep sleep. If you are pissed off at your pet send them a clear message with this bed.
I guess the upside is that if fluffy doesn’t wake up one day, you can just put a lid on it and start digging. Your cat will be a real Nest-faratu when they lounge in this bed. They might even start sleeping through the day and roaming your house at night. Wait-
Mine already does that. And those aren’t mosquito bites on my neck. I think I need a ball of string and a wood stake.
Click through for more pics of this bed complete with the vampire cats who love it.
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