Tag: cool

Color Changing Mushroom Night Light

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etsy color changing mushroom night light
This Color Changing Mushroom Night Light will make it seem like you are tripping balls, when in fact, you are tripping the light fantastic. I have no idea what that means. And that’s okay. Everything is okay as long as I float within the void. Watching monkey-faced mermaids swim past me. It’s all good. I’m floating closer to the happy trees now. There is a lake. Sooooo relaxing.

Wait. That lake is a giant mouth full of Cthulhu teeth, each one slapping it’s tentacles to whip the drooling saliva off the others. The giant tongue is lashing toward me-

*Wakes up breathing heavy.* Thank god I don’t do drugs. I wonder what makes me dream like that every night and makes me a nervous wreck. Oh well. Goodnight color change mushroom night light.
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Dragon Door Knocker

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dragon door knocker
This Dragon Door Knocker is going to look awesome on my front door. Especially after I took out that second mortgage to give the place that whole Game of Thrones makeover. So what if it looks more like a beat up Jenga pile. I’m no contractor. Knock knock knock! Who is it? It’s dragon. Dragon who? Dragon my butt, cuz I’m so tired from blogging all day.

You can’t come in, the king’s not here.

I am the king!

Prove it! Prove your worth by removing a giant stone block from the castle of Jenga and I’ll let you in.

We went through this last week and it’s not funny. I lost the entire bedroom that day. And you’re just some dude named Merlin who I’m renting a room to and who farts way to much, then tries to cover it up with magic. Fine whatever, but I’m taking a piece from your side of the castle this time.
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Custom Test Tube Spice Rack

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test tube spice rack
Looking for something unique in a spice rack? How about a Custom Test Tube Spice Rack? That way you can pretend you’re a scientist while seasoning your food and ruin it by putting way too much paprika in it. I hate when that happens.

Little known fact: My dad was a test tube baby, which makes me a baby from a proven tube. That tube was the boobtube. And by that I mean the TV, which did often have boobs on it. Boobs will bring you up right!

Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers

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T-Rex dinosaur desk organizer
I’m working on a script called Jurassic Parks and Rec. It’s about a bunch of dinosaurs working for local government, trying to figure out the best way to deal with extinction level events. That really has nothing to do with these awesome Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers. Just figured I’d toot my own horn a little. *Wiggles thumb and pinky* Call me Hollywood.

These T-Rex skull organizers are sweet! They make your desk look like a rugged manly man works there. And I say that knowing full well that it takes a lot to counter that limited edition Rainbow Dash figure I have on my desk now. With the Rainbow Brite post-it notes.

Space Unicorn Faux Taxidermy

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taxidermy space unicorn
*What’s that?* Oh, that’s just my trusty Space Unicorn. He doesn’t do much. Just sits there. Looks awesome. No lasers shoot from the eyes and it doesn’t poop glitter. It just does it’s own awesome thing. It was probably attracted to my awesome manliness and my sweet bachelor pad. *Yeah right. It was probably attracted to your virginity!*

Hey, you take that back! *Can’t take back what hasn’t been lost yet* Fair enough. I just like it because it’s pretty and sparkly.