Tag: cool

Slice Of Pizza Sleeping Bag

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pizza sleeping bag
Make like some cheesy crust and slip into this Slice Of Pizza Sleeping Bag. Did you sleep good? Yeah I had a good slice! Saucy dreams too! The pillows are sold separately by the same seller.

I’m buying one and having a big sleepover next month, so I expect 7 of you girls to buy this. Then we can all lay on my floor in a circle and make a whole pizza. Warning you now though, I will likely burrow from one sleeping bag to the other while you are snoring away, like a crazy pizza-groundhog. If we wake up in the same slice you have six more weeks of winter, so you best cozy up to me. Just the way it works.

Well, it’s been a slice. Laterz.
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This Black Light Reactive Spine Has Backbone

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black light spine
I really should get one of these Black Light Reactive Spines. My wife is ALWAYS going on about how I need to grow one or get one. All guys scream when they see a mouse and need to be slapped until they stop. Am I right? I’ll show her. I’ll get a spine by actually buying a spine. One that glows like it is radioactive and makes me look like a walking X-Ray.

The Paleotron Spine is made from Laser-Cut and Engraved Acrylic, joined together with Stainless Steel Split Rings, and harnessed to the body with chains clasped by a Circular Gate Ring. Two replaceable, battery powered black light LEDs fit into one of the higher vertebrae and the pelvic piece to provide a slight glow in any dark space.

This is perfect for me cuz just like how the deeper you go down into the ocean, the more phosphorescent and luminescent the sea life is, I’m a nerd from a basement that deep. If you delve down through the depths into my lair you’ll see me doing my glowing thing in my natural dark environment as I play my PS4 and nibble on small shrimp that look like cheese puffs. Try not to kick up the dust. It takes forever to settle again since I bought games instead of a vacuum.
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Dinosaur Print Clothes: Jurassic Parka

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dinosaur clothes
I was looking for a kick-ass T-Rex pair of shorts one day when I spotted Etsy seller Hunterandfoxclothing’s dinosaur print clothes. Apparently they come in 3 sizes. Jurassic Small, Jurassic Park and Jurassic Stadium for those who are the size of a mastodon and really need to lay off the Coca Cola. Nothing is cooler than friggin’ dinosaurs in the jungle all over your body.

Choose from dresses, tunics, shorts, shirts and more. The only extinction level event you need to be concerned about is me buying them all up so I can wear them everywhere and roar like crazy. I’ll need to cut a hole for my tail though.
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Mounted Taxidermy Dragon Head

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taxidermy dragon head
What? This awesome Mounted Taxidermy Dragon Head costs $1,499.? Like Stevie Nicks said, “Stop dragon my heart around!” Puff the magic dragon may have lived by the sea, but he died by my hand. At least, that’s what I’m gonna tell people when they see this sweet head mounted on my wall.

Did you really kill that thing?

Yep. Killed it with kindness.

Huh?

*Shows off my caveman club with the word “kindness” carved in the handle.* Yeah, he was all like, “I can see you have a kindness. Jump on my back and we shall be friends, adventuring to far off lands.” I just climbed up and whacked him real good until my arm was tired. Good thing I’m good at whacking things.

Jurassic Houseware: Dinosaur Plates

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dinosaur plates

Eat up and make that meal extinct when you eat off of Dinosaur Plates. Have some Tex-Mex on a T-Rex, serve up the broccoli on a Brachiosaurus. Get all Pie-rannosaurus on a Tyrannosaurus! Reminds me of that time my roommate got a set of fancy Dinosaur plates. I cut a hole in the ceiling and waited for him to finish his dinner, then I throw rocks through the hole and broke ’em into a million pieces. “Meteors! Run or you’ll all be extinct!”

After he cooled down, he ordered more and informed me that the dinosaurs went extinct because the plant life died everywhere, not because of a meteor. So the next week I threw out all of his fruit and vegetables and put X’s over all the dinosaur eyes before I smashed the plates and buried them in his trash, with some chocolate syrup to simulate fossil fuel.