Tag: cool

Own The Night: Bat Pajama Costume

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bat pajama costume
Every night will be an adventure with this Bat Pajama costume. My wife will be all like “Hey stop hitting me with your flappy wings. And your ear just poked my eye!”

I’ll be all like “Eeek. Eeeek. Eeeek.” Followed by more intense wing flapping action. Then I’ll bite her neck and fly off in a puff of smoke to sleep upside down in the doorway. Until I sleep so deep that I fall and hit my head anyway. Although she may get up to pee before that ever happens, because her bladder is as active as my wings. In which case, I’ll get punched in the gut and THEN fall and hit my head. Then I’ll have to use my sonar to find the couch.

UFO Table Lamps With Hot Rod Paint Jobs

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ufo lampThese UFO lamps are…wait for it…Out of this world! They look like little bumper car UFOs that a small person could get in and fly around the house, destroying all of your vases and figurines and stuff. I’m gonna put on my awesome alien jacket and go for a ride, like I’m in a pinball machine.

Three concussions later, I’ll wake up just before the wife gets home and call the cops, informing them about the break in. I have no idea what they wanted, but they really worked me over good. That should stop her from killing me.

Etsy seller SHINYARTY has all kinds of awesome UFO table lamps that I am sadly too big to fit inside, all painted up like awesome hot rods.
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Super Awesome Trading Cards

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super awesome trading cardsAwesome. No, super awesome! I love me some trading cards and these Super Awesome Trading Cards are the best. If I was still a kid, I would totally put some of these in my bicycle spokes so it would sound like a motorcycle and trade Abe Lincoln for a Narwhal.

These are just like the cards you collected as a kid, only cooler. And now, instead of leaving cards laying around the house for my mom to complain about and throw out, I can leave them lying around the house for my wife to complain about and throw out. This nerdy man-baby has come full circle!

You can collect all kinds of awesome cards like: Martians, Bigfoot,Abe Lincoln, wizards, zombies and more.
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LEGO Strip Club

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lego strip club
LEGO sets have changed since I was a kid. This custom LEGO strip club has it all for $275. A DJ, a greasy looking Chip N’ Dale looking Male stripper in bow tie and two female strippers with wads of cash everywhere.

What’s next? A LEGO crackhouse? I could never play with this set. I would be too busy throwing tiny plastic money as I twirled that stripper around the pole, then cleaning it up and taking it in the back room to count it up. I would also be spraying windex constantly and wiping everything down. Hey, if I built it, I’m technically the proprietor. Gotta take care of business. You girls get back to work or you’ll be working the Duplo club down the street!
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Mr. Predator Action Figure

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predator action figure
This Mr. Predator action figure would be loads of fun. You could use your other action figures and play out all kinds of real world situations. Things that might happen to “Mr. Predator”.

Hello Mr. Predator. Thank you for coming to the job interview. I see here you are skilled at hunting and setting off nuclear weapons in the jungle. Can’t see through mud though. Hmmm. That might be a problem here seeing as how this pottery factory makes goods from clay. With a face like that you should be opening metal cans for a living. Ha ha ha.

The interview always ends with Mr. Predator removing the guy’s spine and tucking it in his briefcase, before adjusting his tie and walking out the door.
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