Tag: cool

Eye Exam Chart Tights

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eye exam tights
These eye exam chart tights will let you check out a great pair of legs while also taking an eye test. Damn girl! You gots a fine pair o legs. And thanks for the free checkup! You’ll be happy to know that I scored a perfect 100% on the test. The real question is, how do I score with you? Hmmm? They say I’m popular with the tight-wearing 20-30 year old female demographic.

On the other hand, I also score high with the crazy cat lady 60-70 year old demographic. Beauty is both a blessing and a curse.
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Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal

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t rex stick figure family
See that? That’s what I think about your stick figure family. I stomped all over your precious little backseat-barnacles, then snapped their bones with my teeth, their sweet stick figure blood dripping down my T-Rex chin. I let mommy and daddy live just so they could spread the word to other stick figure families. Then I roared a mighty roar of victory! Well, not victory exactly. Was trying to find a sweet dino-mate who has some extra swing in her tail.

Put this Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal on your ride and let all of those stick figure families know that they have been pwned.

Pink Floyd vs. “The Wall” Chess Set

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

pink floyd chess set
We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control. But DO WANT this awesome Pink Floyd Chess Set. It’s the band Pink Floyd vs. the characters from The Wall. AND has the Dark Side of the Moon prism album art right on the board.

This chess set is pretty awesome. Although you would have to say Trip-mate just before you win, because it’s so trippy.

Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb? This Etsy seller just did, cuz this thing is da bomb.

If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat? I have no idea, but here’s what we’ll do. I’ll just skip both and have some cheese nachos. Cool? Are we good with that? Excellent!
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Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp

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aliens lamp
Etsy seller Kreatworks creates all kinds of awesome and scary alien sculptures. Most of them cost way more than I have saved in my piggybank. I know, because I just busted the thing open and counted it all up before walking down the street and spending my life savings on a Kit Kat bar. Well, THAT was a tasty retirement! Back to work now!

Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp is all kinds of scary and awesome. It will totally watch you all night long as you watch it back, until you are a nervous wreck and hiding under the blankets, cursing the fact that you soiled yourself.

Lesson learned. Some things are just too scary to have in your bedroom. The next morning you decide that it would look much better in your toddler’s room.
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Light-up Iridescent Seahorse Costume

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seahorse costume
This seahorse looks surprisingly happy about washing up on a pile of rocks, so I have to deduct points for bad acting(She may have just had a bad script). However, she gets bonus points for making a kick-ass Seahorse costume and for having a nice set of sea-legs.

If you have a spare $450. and yearn to live life like the horse of the sea, go ahead and pull the trigger. Click through for another sexy beach pic, followed by a creepy pic of this Seahorse doing the chicken dance, while in the background a fog forms, summoning the ghosts of a Seahorse army.
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