The Werewolf Lycan Monster Bodysuit is ripped! Do you even wolf bro? This hairy dude has been getting his gains. Which isn’t easy since he only comes out on a full moon and that’s when Planet Fitness is always the most crowded. Dude is buff and tough. What are you gonna do when Wolf-a-mania runs wild on you brotha? Oh yeah!
Tag: creature
Crazy Larva Mutant
Damn son! You ugly! Real nice. Real mature giving me the finger x6. You are the craziest Larva Mutant I’ve ever seen. What’s up with the area between your stubby arms? It looks like your abdomen is smiling. Twice! And are those three sets of bellybutton pairs? Looks like you have an ugly alien head too. That’s what I thought. Oh well. Nice getting to know you. Now it is time to kill you with fire! No stop squirming. It’s disgusting. It’s all icky and nasty.
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Weird Octopus Backpack
Check out this Octopus backpack. It has a giant head that you can shove all of your stuff in. It almost looks like a big slab of meat hanging off of your back. Skin colored meat. With two eyes. It commands you as it slowly sinks into your back muscles, day after day, which ache from doing your master’s bidding.
Gross Monster Spoon Rests
Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.
Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle
Cool Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle dude! Mind your own beeswax!
If you light it, they will come. Huh? Who’s that? If you light it, they will come. Uhhhhh. That’s the first time the voices ever said that. *Shrugs and lights my awesome dragon candle.* Weird. It’s getting all dark and stormy outside. Sounds like wings flapping. And shrieks. *Watches as a dragon busts through the window pane. Another bursts out of the fireplace. And the front door. Then the Kool-Aid man breaks through the wall shouting, “Oh yeah!”*
Oh f**k! What have I done?