Cup o’ Fingers anyone? Anybody? No? Too gross? It’s all good, it’s just some creepy crochet that a creeper crafted up. I’m not much into finger food myself. I mean, I’ll eat it with my fingers, sure. Then wipe the grease all over my shirt. What? “Shirts ain’t nothin’ but giant napkins you wear!” Sage advice if I ever heard it. That little gem came from my 400 pound uncle. Probably not the best role model. He was so fat, he had trouble moving, basically had to sit still Buddha style and have food brought to him. Sometimes I would rub his tummy for luck as I passed by. That man wore the same napkin for 20 years… Until napkins stopped fitting him.
Tag: crochet
Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll
Pikachu and Cthulhu sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes Cthulhu in a baby carriage. Of doom! Someone mashed up our favorite Pokemon with our favorite ancient evil. The result? Well, it’s cute as hell, but let’s just say you don’t want to see anything like this on your ultrasound. If you do, then everyone knows you were cheating on Pikachu with Cthulhu. Look at those cute wittle tentacles! Who’s the cutest wittle evil Pokemon? You are. Yes you are.
This Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll is an unholy abomination and I love it.
Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?
I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.
Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
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Chibi Cthulhu
Chibi Cthulhu is back! And this time he brought lollipops. Where do you think he gets his powers? The ancient evil has never looked so cute and cuddly. You can get them in any color you want, or with different wing colors. Hey, those are dum-dums. No, I’m not dissing baby Cthulhu. Those lollipops are dum-dums. Heh. Lollipops are stupid.
Pro tip: Never take something called a Molly-pop when it’s offered to you at a nightclub. Otherwise you end up rolling around in the street, trying to put out the fire of pretty lights that are clinging to you and singing softly. Always clean your ears and make sure you hear LOLLIPOP.
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Cthulhu Ski Mask Warms Your Tentacles
This Cthulhu Ski Mask is awesome. Yet terrifying. It’s the best way ever to keep all of your tentacles warm in the winter. You probably shouldn’t wear this when you rob a store, but I know you will. You scamps.
Can you describe the man that robbed you?
Well, he was about this tall, had some horns, had a bunch of tentacles and looked like an ancient evil that has just awakened. That should narrow it down.
Laugh if you want, but Cthulhu will tell ya, your tentacles get pretty cold in the winter months. They have been known to snap off like icicles in extreme temperatures.