Hey, it’s the Ring of Dracula. Normally, when I hear the ring of Dracula, I don’t pick up the phone cuz the guy will talk your ear off. No, seriously, my ear is sitting on the floor collecting cat hair right now. Plus, he’s probably drunk again. No, this is the actual ring. The one he gave to Mrs Dracula when he proposed.
“With this ring I thee suck yer blood. Is Good?” Oh my yes! I do! I do!
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Toys sure have changed since I was a kid. This custom Fifty Shades of Grey LEGO set comes with two mini figures. Also a whip, handcuffs and restraints. Kids these days.
Themoonbeams makes some really cool and Mesmerizing Alien Pendants. Or as I like to call them, alien abduction badges. Wearing these things is like jumping up and down and saying, “Me! Me! Pick me!” Then they do. They beam you up, then beam you down with a sore pooper and no preperation H.
These pendants do look pretty cool though. So shiny. But I’m not gonna get suckered in. They are pretty hypnotising though. Pretty colors…
*Wakes up on an alien ship.*
Aside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:
Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.
Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.
You can’t buy this View-Master in the store! This Scream Queens custom view-master comes with a reel of retro horror photography. It features Glass Olive, Mosh, Anastasia Arteyeva, Victoria Elle and Briana Robertson. Glass Olive? I think I choked on one of them once. This View-Master is a scream. This set makes a very cool gift for anyone who likes to look at pretty girls on a viewing device in the privacy of their own home. Okay, it’s me. Big surprise.
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