Tag: dental

Freaky Teeth Coin Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

vintage teeth coin purse
Your total is fifty dollars and forty-nine cents sir.

Here you go. Here is fifty dollars. And here is my Freaky Teeth Coin Purse where you can get the change. *Holds it up* You may open it.

Uh. I’m good. You open it.

No, I insist, you open it.

I’m not touching that mouth sir!

Go ahead. I can’t open it. I have arthritis.

Sir, you and your freak lady purse with teeth are holding up the line. Just go.

Well I never. *Bags my groceries and leaves* YES! This demented dental purse has saved me like seventy bucks this week. *Whistles through the parking lot.*

Pocket Watch Full Of Teeth

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

teeth pocket watch
Excuse me good sir, do you have the time? *Reaches into vest. Pulls out pocket watch. Holds it to guys face* But of course. Time to bite your face off!

This Pocket Watch Full Of Teeth is, what’s the right word? I think Squeampunk fits. Yeah squeampunk. It makes me squeamish, but it’s kinda cool. No way I’m keeping this thing in my pocket, by my junk. I feel like it needs a mint or a tic-tac or something. Right in the middle there.

10 Terrifying And Toothy Items You Can Buy On Etsy

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

teeth necklaceTeeth. Why do so many Etsy sellers make things from or about teeth? Why so obsessed? Ya’ll are gross. I said that all southern like to make my point. You guys are just nasty. Click through for a bunch of freaky teeth related Etsy finds that you can really sink your teeth into.
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Chew On This: Giant Mr. Gross Mouth

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

mr gross mouthGiant Mr. Gross Mouth is here to scare all of the kiddies away from the harmful effects of smokeless tobacco. (Drugs are bad..Mmmmkay?) If you don’t know what the heck “smokeless” tobacco is, it’s that brown stuff you see rednecks cramming in between their cheek and gums. Every now and then, they have to spit on the ground(Or on the floor in a home). I think spitting at bugs might be an age old redneck sport.
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