Tag: ebay

No Shame In This Domain: DowneyCriminalAttorney.com

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DowneycriminalattorneyRobert Downey Jr. is a rough and tumble cop who gets the job done. His boss is ready to throw the book at him. His wife is ready to throw divorce papers at him. And the whole city is throwing nothing but trouble his way. If he can just make it two weeks until retirement, he can rest easy. But first he has to go undercover as DOWNEY CRIMINAL ATTORNEY. Coming this summer.

Make the movie. Then buy this domain. You are welcome Hollywood!

Totally worth the $7,995. asking price from Ebay. Look at that awesome pic the seller made!

Antique Outhouse For $200

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Antique OuthouseFor those who prefer a good poop outdoors, you can buy this antique outhouse for just $200. It was probably built in the 1930s or 1940s. It’s the house that sh*t built. Also the house that someone had to clean the sh*t out of. It basically looks like it is falling apart and has received it’s last set of buttcheeks on that wood throne.

The old Duke boys probably took many a duke in that thing. Till Boss Hog came to visit one day and caused a mini earthquake that tilted the crap shack and left it venting Cleveland steam for 3 weeks straight.

Hey, it has two holes. Team pooping/peeing FTW! Click through for more shots.
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I Like My AC With JC: Jesus Face In Rusty Air Conditioner

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Jesus face on air conditionerFind Jesus for $100. Can you spot him? Spoiler alert: It’s a lot simpler than that Where’s Waldo game, which I have yet to master. He’s right there! Using his Son of God powers to chill your air.

What Would Jesus Do? For a start, he would clean that yard. Maybe plant some flowers. Just because you found Jesus, that doesn’t mean that your neighbors want to look at a bunch of trash. Jesus may turn the other cheek, but not me. I expect an orderly yard if I’m going to make the pilgrimage all the way out to redneck-Nazareth to worship JC on the AC.

Say, if I buy this thing, can I get that weed whacker for $5?

More pics below.
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Tour de Lawn: Custom Built Lawn Mower Bike

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custom lawn mower bikeThis $375 custom built lawn mowing bike has one of those old-style bladed push mowers attached in front, so you can zip around the neighborhood mowing lawns in a crazy short time. You’ll be making bank son! Rolling in them Benjamins. Choppin’ the grass and gettin’ dat ass. Rollin’ in the cheddar! Big pimpin son.

Until your legs flare up like 2 sausages and your butt cheeks are 2 big calluses. It was fun while it lasted, but you are in so much pain, you don’t even mind when some dude riding a John Deere does a drive-by and knocks you off of your smooth pimp ride. Now there is a new king in town. Lawn wars be crazy like that.
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Weird Taxidermy: Two Frogs Walk Into A Bar

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beer drinking frogsSomeone paid $25. for this. These guys are having a drinking contest. The guy on the left just slammed his bottle down, slammed down his hand and is like, “I effing got this!” *Huge frog burp* The guy on the right doesn’t even care. He’s just happy to be inebriated since the other frog is paying.

Fun fact: Carta Blanca means “blank check”. I know that because my landlord challenged me to a drinking contest once. Halfway through, he’s all like “Carta Blanca! Rent Gringo!” I’m like, “What? You know I don’t speak landlord.” He’s all like, “Pay rent. You sign. Leave amount blanca. That space for me to fill out.”

Now I know better. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. Now I get a discount on rent, because his buddy(Guy named Coyote apparently) comes around once a month and hides stuff in my house. Sometimes people. It’s a game they play.