Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace

Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace
Check out this cool Edgar Allan Glow, I mean Edgar Allan Poe Necklace. It glows and glows and glows while Edgar Poes and Poes and Poes. No worries. You won’t be a Poe-ser if you wear this awesome necklace. And no one will call the fashion Poe-lice. You think your current necklace is this cool? Poe-lease! This Edgar Allan Poe Necklace is Poe-sitively Poe-tent!

Too much? Sorry.

*Sings*

He’s just a Poe boy from a Poe family, spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you wear this Poe?

Now I’m done.

Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes

Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes
Serial Killer art is so…what’s the word I’m looking for? “It puts the lotion on!” These Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes will follow you around the room. Maybe even undress you with their eyes. Then gawk some more. Ewwwww! There are four pairs of eyes, all sizing you up. I don’t know what’s more disturbing the fact that this is a set of four eyes in a frame, or the fact that they all share the same skin. They should really all be looking at each other and forming an escape plan. Not that eyes can escape. If they could, my eyes would have bugged out when I first saw this thing.

Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters

Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters
These Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters make every drink a morbid margarita, a deadly daiquiri, a corpsey cocktail, a macabre manhattan, a terrorizing Tom Collins, Death on the beach, a tequila of terror, a scary screwdriver, or a Long Island iced terror. Just set your drink down on one of these coasters, otherwise the wife will be putting you in a box and burying you six feet deep. Why do ya think I drink so much?

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Gross Monster Spoon Rests
Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Skeleton Door Handles

Skeleton Door Handles
These Skeleton Door Handles are awesome. Just grab some spine and come on in. It’s perfect for a chiropractors office. If you want customers to turn away the minute they get to the door that is. It must have been back-breaking work to create these. If I pull too hard on these, I’m not responsible for any slipped discs right? If I break these spines while opening the door, am I gonna be charged for breaking (spines) and entering? Okay, cool. I’m coming in.