Garbage Pail Saints. They’re holier than Garbage pail Kids and all religious-y. Garbage Pail Saints! The Pope probably collects them and puts them in sleeves in his palace while a servant is trimming his holiness’ toenails with his teeth and swallowing every one. The Catholic church is whack yo. You can get a whole pack of these cards. I’m gonna collect the hell out of these. And by the way people, stop tossing your kids and saints in the garbage. I mean, it makes for fun cards and all, but seriously.
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Tag: etsy
The Graveyard Halloween Pillow
Normally you don’t wanna rest your head in a graveyard until you bite the big one, until you lay down for the big sleep, bite the bullet, buy the farm, kick the bucket, bite the dust, give up the ghost, shuffle off this mortal coil… But in this case it’s alright. You’re just visiting. And when you raise your head off of this Graveyard Halloween Pillow after a long nap, you can look back at it and laugh at death. Ha ha! Until next time sucker.
Isn’t the human language awesome? It’s called a graveyard, cuz it is a yard full of graves. But if I put graves in my yard, everybody throws a fit! Waaaa. That guy is creepy, that guy is sick. He’s evil! Where’d he get the bodies? It’s a health hazard! Stupid neighborhood laws. They’re just tombstones people! They just happen to have the names of my enemies. Oh you’re on my list now. All of you. My graveyard just grew by like 30 names. You want some of this? Let’s go! RIP in my yard. I mean RI PEE, cuz I pee in my yard sucka! So there. How do ya like that? Bring it!
Halloween Tarot Cards
This Halloween, give the gift that keeps on giving: A tarot reading about how they are doomed. These Halloween Tarot Cards are fun and they have some great art on them. I’m assuming, since it is Halloween themed, that the Death card has a bag of candy and is holding a scythe. I have no idea. I looked, but my attention span is- Did you see that cool Hamster on a piano video? That still makes me lol.
No really, this is a cool deck.
Thanks, I built it on the side of my home with wood!
That’s not what I meant. Nevermind.
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Baby Cat Cocoon – Crazy Cat Lady Training Tool
Say you want to be a crazy cat lady, but instead of a host of furry felines, all you have is a smooth skinned baby. No worries. You can turn that baby into a cat with the Baby Cat Cocoon and start practicing for when you have a hundred cats one day. Don’t forget to neglect your hygiene and eat plenty of lean cuisine and healthy choice frozen dinners. That shizz is mandatory for any crazy cat lady. And never address your child in English ever again. Instead meow at them and rub their tummy and stuff.
Mars Attacks Alien Skull
Yeah, Mars tried to attack, until we started decapitating the little freaks and displaying their severed heads in trophy cases. Then they tucked their Martian tails(Or whatever. Maybe Martian weens) between their legs and flew home. At least, I’m guessing that’s how a Martian invasion would go down. Murica! This Mars Attacks Alien Skull will make an alien think twice about messing with you. Cuz Murica!
They say Marica. We say Murica! But they don’t say nuffin with no dag gum head! *Spits tobacco*
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