No one better say that my Dragon Head Necklace stinks. It is made from a skunk skull so… Maybe it does. Or did. All good now though! The little stinker. I’m buying one. It will be nice to have a little buddy hanging on my chest. One that I can grab and talk to whenever I want. Make him talk back and nod.
Does a half dragon, half skunk raise it’s tail and pee stinky hot fire when scared? I better check on that.
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Don’t let these Baby Chupacabras fool you. Sure, they look cute and like they are partying during mardi-gras , but they have been known to rip your face off rather than asking to see your boobs and giving you beads. Well, they do that too, but that’s not the point. They were created in a government lab to look FAB-u-LESS and flamboyant. I say mission accomplished.
I feel like they are missing their accessories: A bong, a blunt and some bling. Hard to believe these guys are the ones sucking blood out of goats.
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Keep your eye on the prize. Or you know, on your finger. This Green Glass Eyeball Ring is all seeing, all knowing, and all eyeball. Now I’m no pupil of style and fashion, but I’ll ask my friend Iris what she thinks. Get it? That was just a cornea little eyeball joke. You know what they say, booty is in the eye of the beholder. No, I didn’t mistype beauty. Booty is what I look at. It’s in my eye most hours of the day and I am the beholder. I have probably even seen your butt and approved.
Anyway, back to the ring. Not like *ding-ding* entering the boxing ring. This eye ring silly. It’s not bloodshot, it’s not yellow. All in all it’s very healthy looking. I say go for it. Though I can’t tell if it smells, so there is a chance they’ll give ya the stink-eye.
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I just shivered a little. I thought it was because someone was walking over my grave, but when I saw these Coffin Platform Heels, I realized that it must be because someone is walking on my coffin. If that’s the size of my coffin, I can only assume that someone blew me to pieces and there was only enough left of me to shove inside of two shoe heel coffins.
I’m a little ticked that there’s no epitaph on a little tombstone above those heels though. Something like, “He had a soul, not a sole” or “He tried not to be a heel” or “Women were always walking all over him.” True that. True all of that.
I bet you ladies are dying to get a pair. Dying to try them on. Even though they would kill your feet.
I have a question about these Zombie Nesting Dolls. Okay, if one zombie is inside of another, that’s sex right? One zombie is inside of another. Gotta be sex. Okay, now if a bunch of zombies are all inside of each other, does this constitute a zombie G-bang? It’s been bothering me since I saw these guys. By the way, G-Bang is my gang name. Shout out to my homies on the upper east side! What up Pedro and Johnny Suckerpunch!
Anyhow, these zombies are all up in each others business, looking undead, nesting in and out of each other. You got zombie dad, zombie mom, zombie snot-nosed teen and little zombie sister, plus baby zombie.
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