Tag: etsy

Replica Tub Of The Stuff

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Replica Tub Of The Stuff
Hey look. It’s the stuff. The stuff is awesome. I’m always eating the stuff and touching my stuff. I can’t put my stuff away. Seriously, it’s been a long time since I have seen the movie. All I remember is that this gooey treat is everywhere. A freaky goo that oozes from the earth and is marketed as a dessert.

I think it makes people act like zombies. Sure, I could look it up on Google, but I won’t. Make me punk! Okay, okay, I’m doing it. I just talk tough because I’m afraid to show my emotions. The stuff! Get it before it gets you.

Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse

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Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse
Hey ladies! Carry all of your lady stuff in this Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse. *Removing my arms from my shirt sleeves and putting them into my shirt. Flapping away like crazy and making bat noises as I try to escape.* Just call me Bat-Dini! Who? No not Houdini. And not Who-dini either. That’s an owl thing I do when I’m bored in bed.

Anyway, this awesome bat purse is awesome. Flappin’ awesome. Like wing flappin’ and teeth sinking into your neck awesome. Make sure you carry it upside down during the day, cuz it needs sleep.
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Human Skull Planters

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Human Skull Planters
I need these Human Skull Planters like I need a plant growing out of my head, but I have to admit, dude’s got a nice set of hair. It’s all living matter up top, and nothing but dead skull below. At the very least it will scare some kids this Halloween.

I would have put a mini planter under the jaw, just so I could give him a little Chia Pet beard, but that’s just me.

Tombstone Magnets

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Tombstone Magnets
Check out these cool tombstone magnets. I hope they add Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday! Pew! Pew! Pew! Gunfights are cool.

Wrong tombstone dumbass!

Ohhhhhhh. That kind of tombstone. Yeah, that’s cool too.

Whatever idiot! Anyway, what do you want on your tombstone?

I’ll have pepperoni and extra cheese! *Shouts* Tombstone pizza Pierre!

Babayaga Huts: Houses With Chicken Legs

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Babayaga Huts Houses With Chicken Legs
FrivolousForest makes these cool and freaky Babayaga Huts. I have no idea what a babayaga is, but it roughly translates to “Chicken that walks off with your house.” When I saw this I had to check the basement. It all looks pretty solid. I don’t think any giant chickens are going to come out of the ground and try to walk off with this house. The ex-wife already tried that and guess what? This chicken’s legs are way better.

You know how they say that “those legs go on for days” and then whistle at the girl? Yeah, people used to see my ex coming and say, “Those legs go on…the couch? And don’t really get much exercise. Frankly, I’m sorry I looked.” And that’s from a construction worker who put his hat in his hand and bowed his head all funeral-like as we passed.
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