Tag: etsy

French Fry Bustier Bra Top

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french fry bustier
This French Fry Bustier Bra Top is awesome. Although these must be those flat cut steak fries. Clearly she didn’t say, “Super-size me!” and ordered a small.

Oddly, I have the urge to dump a basket of fries into a metal tray, salt it all up, scoop it all up in that metal minimum wage shovel that McDonalds workers use and slide them right down the middle of her fry-holder. But I’m weird like that.

Thanks for making me hungry fry-girl. Fry-girl is like a dream come true. She’s salty, hot and leaves me wanting more.

Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head Planters

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mr potato head succulent planter
Are you psyched? Good and starched? I present to you these Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head Planters all dressed up like a King and a Princess. With plants coming out of their heads. I know the king personally, were best spuds.

Wait, is it potato or potatoe? Doesn’t matter cuz it’s all chips to me. I’m gonna go mix up their face parts so the kingdom falls apart. Then guess who’s king baby! Oh yeah!
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Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers

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Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers
Like I was saying, I don’t give an octopus’ tentacle what you think- Huh? Oh those are cool. Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers. You gots some nice tentacles baby. And suckers that go on foreva! I know, because every time I flick your switch, I cop a feel.

Hey, it’s a sexy light switch cover. Don’t judge. But if you do, I hope you’ll let me run with an insanity defense, because these sexy steampunk switch covers from Etsy seller WainmanStudios are driving me crazy.
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Armadillo Taxidermy Lamp

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Armadillo Taxidermy Lamp
Armadillo Lamp. For when you need an Armadillo and a lamp in one. It’s a lamp-adillo. A real fringe item. *Elbows you in the rib and points to the fringe.* Basically it’s a dead animal suspended for all time above a small burning sun, which would burn it’s insides if it had any left. Those are probably splattered all over some Texas highway.

Spent a week in Amarillo and met an Armadillo. Walked across the road and he got flat as a pillow. So I took him home and put him on the grill-o. Afterwards I cleaned it with a brillo. Pad.

I have no idea what I’m even typing. Bartender! Another drink. And no, I refuse to stop blogging in your establishment. Just lock up and I’ll find my own way flat onto my face. Same way you found me this morning.

Beer Bottle Wind Chimes

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beer bottle windchimes
Chime to drunk sim beer. I mean time to drunk sim beer.

How drunk did you have to get to hang up all of those Beer Bottle Wind Chimes?

I’m not drink. Juss like to hear da pretty music. Havin’ the chime o my life!

Yeah, but you realize that just getting from the driveway to your door sounds like a thunderstorm hitting a glass factory.

Don’t pay no nevermind and help me drink up another case. I got a tree out back that ain’t been beered yet!