Check out this awesome set of man antlers that you can wear. Actually it’s a Mannequin Head Wearing Man-Antlers that you can decorate with.
I would pop these babies off that head and glue them to my own dome. Then I would stamp my feet and scratch at the floor with one foot while I snort. After that, it’s me against the wall. Then after that it’s me glued to a pair of man-antlers that are stuck in the wall. On the plus side, the apartment next door has a new coat rack.
This Nuke Lamp in the shape of a mushroom cloud will lend an irradiated glow to your home. Usually only the cockroaches would survive a blast like this, but both you and those nasty creatures will be safe.
This amazing 3D printed lamp really splits my atoms. It’s rad! Get it? I love it a mega-ton! I hope I don’t get any fallout because of these lame jokes. I wish I had been alive in the 60s and had this lamp. I would have tricked all of my dates using the old “under the desk, duck and cover” routine. Nah, I’ll be fine sitting at the desk. Only enough room down there for one. You get under so you’re safe. Heh heh. While you’re down there…
*Hey that’s rude!*
What? I was gonna say to check if the carpet needs vacuuming.
*That’s sexist*
Well, I just meant.
*You shut up mister!*
When did the voice in my head get so mean and bossy?
Check out this piece of Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy. If you don’t know who Die Antwoord is, I feel sorry for you. They are awesome and weird as f**k. Look them up now and either be blown away or totally freaked out by their music videos.
Ninja and Yolandi have never looked better. Actually they have. But not by much. Now I have that song going through my head. “I fink you’re freaky and I like you a lot!”. That’s kinda how I feel about this piece.
Quick. Get to da chopper! No you idiot, not the motorcycle with da long front wheel, de heli-chopper! *Predator stabs me through the back and rips out my spine.* Thanks for clarifying Arnold. Next time be more specific. I mean chopper could also mean blender for Christ’s sake. You want me to run toward a blender? Thanks for ending my life with your less than clear advice! *Dies*
This Predator Crochet Mask is scary and crafty as hell. Experience the softer side of Predator. And if you are in the jungle and running from Predator, be very clear about what you are shouting. Lookin’ at you Arnold.
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Man, this is one scary-ass Rattlesnake Skeleton Kit. They are actually scarier on the inside. This scale model recreates the bone structure of the Rattlesnake. Allow me to recreate my reaction to seeing this on my desk:
*Screams at the top of my lungs! Then smashes it into a million pieces while yelling for someone to call zombie pest control. Then breaths heavily while looking at the pulverized remains.* It’s okay honey. I killed it. I hope we stockpiled enough food to get through this nightmare. There’s bound to be more of them.
That was your birthday present you A**hole! And I hope you stockpiled enough sex to get you through the month while you sleep on the couch. Because there’s bound to be NONE!
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