Tag: etsy

Combat Garden Gnomes

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combat garden gnomesThese Combat garden gnomes will mess up your day. They are armed, deadly, and full of attitude. Etsy seller thorssoli has several styles to choose from. You can buy a bunch and assemble your gnome army. Each one of these little killing machines will cost you between $76-$96.

There’s a heavy machine gunner, a minesweeper, a mortar launching gnome and many more. Let some jerk even try to trample your garden. They are in for a world of hurt.

Check out a few more below.
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Custom Godzilla Sterling Silver Rings

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godzilla ringsMake your fist one of fury when you put a Godzilla on each finger. I got a fist full of Godzilla’s and your face is Tokyo! Let’s get to wreckin’! Nah. It’s not like these awesome Godzilla rings are brass knuckles. There’s no way you could hurt someone while wearing these rings.

Well, maybe Mothra. Mothra is just begging for it? He thinks being a Moth is going to be able to stand up against the mighty Godzilla. Godzilla would just light a fart- Wait, these rings cost $385? I just realized I have way to many fingers. Looks like if I want to play Godzilla, it’s finger puppets for me.

Mounted Predator Head

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

mounted predator headI finally bagged me a Predator. Even if it does look like a watermelon mated with a spider. They are surprisingly easy to catch. Just cover yourself in mud and they’re all like, “Where did you go?” So I popped up and surprised him. That’s how I got this sweet Predator head for my wall.

Like 4 more were off to the side laughing. I held their friend’s head up. “This is funny spider-face?” What’s that smell? Smells like taco night, just before bed. Oh, right! That mud was butt-mud. Figures I would hide in a pig-pen. They just gave me a wide birth as I left with my trophy. That’s right. I’m the man!
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Dinosaurs Wearing Makeup And Jewelry

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dino princessEtsy seller FrivolousForest offers all kinds of sweet painted ladies. Of the extinct variety. She makes dinosaurs sexy and Princess-like by putting all kinds of makeup and jewelry on them. Damn girl, you looking good. I’m gonna come down on you like an extinction level event.

These ladies are keeping it all classic in the Jurassic. Click through for more.
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Patriotic Stars and Stripes Duck Diaper Harness

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duck diaperTired of cleaning up duck poop? Me too. It’s everywhere. My pet duck refuses to clean up after itself. You ever seen a duck poop 5 inch mounds all over the carpet? I should probably stop feeding it hamburger helper and Mountain Dew. This patriotic duck diaper harness should help.

But then I would have to change him like a baby. I have enough trouble keeping my own butt poop free. Again, it’s probably the Hamburger helper and mountain dew.

Wait- I feel like such an idiot. Those 5 inch mounds of molten lava-rhea are mine. *Duck stares at me* I’m not apologizing. I’m not. Duck you.