This furry and devious looking monster under the bed is licking her lips and looking mischievous. Hold on one damn minute. I recognize her from when I was a kid. It’s all coming back to me now. The lights would go out, I would play a bit of pocket billiards under the blanket, fart, grade the fart, roll over, toss and then stare into the darkness.
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Tag: etsy
Indiana Jones And The Satan-Headed Snake-Armed Lord Of The Flies
At first I thought this a was still image pitch for the next Indiana Jones movie that Steven Spielberg had sent George Lucas, during a drunken weekend of money counting and laughing, then crying and laughing again, between drunk dialing all of the Goonies. Nope. This is…just something somebody “threw up” on Etsy.
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Nightmare Fuel: Alien Preemie Baby
Holy f**king space invaders! This Preemie alien doll is ready to be adopted by you, should you desire a life of backdoor probing everytime you piss off this kid. Then there’s the whole waking up to find a cattle mutilation scene in your living room. Now you gotta pay for the neighbors cow and clean up all of the blood that little Dexter got all over the carpet. AND dispose of 1/3 of the cow body. You don’t want to know what he did with the rest.
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Pig Meat Sculpture Pillow: Perfect For My Next Bacon Blackout
So you love your pork products. Me too. I just made some hot dogs wrapped in bacon, sauteed in scrapple fat, then deep fried with a breaded pork rind shell. Om Nom Nom Nom! Delicious! Arm going numb. Heart hurt bad! Does anyone know how to vacuum arteries? Isn’t there a needle attachment I can get for the wet vac?
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Rub A Dub Dub, There’s A Fetus In My Tub
Nothing smells fresher than a newborn baby. So fetuses must smell pretty nice. They should bottle that smell. Or better yet, just embed a fetus directly in your soap so you can smell fresh as the day you were concieved. That’s what Etsy seller Wombscape did.
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